She’s stuck with me FOREVER!

I talked to my mom about a week before I moved to san francisco. She told me it was a good move to go there and that I’d meet my soul mate there. Well she was right. I met Doan Chung on August 25th 2005, around 8pm, at Swig Bar on Geary and Taylor Street. From the first second I saw her I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. She came to the bar to see Bea perform. Jackie and Bea were in san francisco for the virgo bash. Since Jackie was from the area she called up her cousins and Doan to come to the show. So if it wasn’t for Jackie and Bea I would have never met my future wife.

I remember sitting at the bar with Jackie right before Bea started her set. I leaned over to Jackie and whispered “I love your friend”. And with Jackie being Jackie she looks straight at Doan and says “RAY LOVES YOU!” I instantly freaked and was totally embarrassed, but Doan looked at me, smiled, and said “I love him too”. I was hooked from that second.

Over the next couple of months I saw a lot of Doan. We would both work during the day and she would drive all the way from Vacaville to San Francisco (about 2 hours each way) just to come and see me almost everyday. The months flew by and before we knew it I was packing my stuff up and moving in with her in Vacaville.

That was the toughest place I’d ever lived. It was a 2 hour drive each way from Vacaville to San Francisco, but that was only when the traffic wasn’t bad, and you had a car. The first couple of weeks I lived in Vacaville Doan was in China with her family. So I had to find my own way to work. My Day went like this. I woke up at 4am, left the house by 5am, walked to the bus stop, took an hour long ride to el cerrito, hopped on bart into the city, then a bus to my office. It was insane and about 5 hours of travel each way. Luckily my life got better when Doan got back. We still had a crazy commute, but driving with my baby everyday is a good day.

We lived in Vacaville for just about a month and we found a crazy space. We found a 8200 sq ft loft in oakland california. It was totally trashed, but I saw it and just knew how beautiful it could be. So Doan called them up and got us a ridiculous deal on the space. We then spent tons of time and money fixing up the space. We turned half into her massage spa called Humble Way, and half our living space. We had some cool parties, and a lot of good times, but we were stressed.

So stressed that we needed a vacation. So we decided we’d go back to hawaii for a couple of weeks. She didn’t know this but I had planned to ask her to marry me there. A couple of months before I was looking desparately for a beautiful engagement ring. I’m not normal though and neither is Doan. So I had to have something completely her and totally creative. So a little insight into Doan. SHE’S OBSESSED WITH SUGAR! I don’t say that lightly. She seriously eats sugar every second that she can, orders dessert for her appetizer, and can’t let ice cream sit in the freezer for more than a day. She’s sugar crazy. And since I wanted her engagement ring to be all about her. I had to find a sugar themed ring. I spent weeks looking around, and finally I found Holly Cruise’s website. She had a series of jewelry that was nothing but cake with frosting. I had to have it.

I wrote Holly telling her my situation and getting some prices. She said what size is she? I had no idea. I spent the next week going through Doan’s jewelry boxes trying to find something. And nothing was any help. Holly was really cool about it. She said she had a size 8 which was obviously going to be too big, but I’d have it at least. She said after you find out her size, just send it back and she’ll make me a custom one perfect size for Doan.

So I had it sent to the office, and even had to have Beau buy it for me because Doan is checking the bank everyday and asking me about transactions. So I knew she’d know something was up. Finally we were off on our trip. We did all the usual stuff: hiking, swimming, tanning, eating and of course drinking. It was fun as can be. We stayed with my friend Shane who asked me when we got there if I was nervous about asking her. I looked at him and said “Not at all. I think people that are scared are worried if they’re making the right decision. I KNEW I was making the right decision.”

So a few days go by, and we go to the beach that I planned on asking her at. We went with our friends Amber and Shane. We were having a good time just walking around when we found this cool sand tunnels that kids must have made. These were huge with tunnels that went from all ditch to ditch for about 10 yards. Without even thinking I told Doan she should go crawling through. Being the crazy asian she is…she jumped down there and started trying to crawl through them. It was hilarious. So we jumped to the next ditch and this one she could totally fit in the tunnel. I’m not sure why, but I thought it would be funny if while she down there…I made the sand fall on her back and trapped her down there. ( it seemed brilliant in my head) Well I made the sand crash too early and it landed on her face covering her whole head. I FREAKED! I was so scared, I jumped down there and started dig out around her face so she could breathe. Amber and Shane freaked and started digging her out from the back. We finally got her out. She was so scared and I felt like shit. It was the worse feeling I’d ever had in my life. And on the beach I wanted to ask her to marry me on no doubt.

Everything calmed down and we started home. I asked her if it would be okay if we had a picnic at that beach tomorrow. I told her I didn’t want everytime I think about my favorite beach, that I think about the time I almost killed my girlfriend. She agreed and I knew tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of my life.

We woke up early the next day (February 23rd 2007) and headed for Kailua. We stopped at the Kalapawai Market and got some food for our picnic. It was still pretty early when we got to lanakai, which means that it was basically a beach all to ourselves. We found a little cove at the end of the beach that was almost covered so we were all to ourselves.

We ate our food and then decided to just lay down and cuddle. We were laying there watching the waves, and I knew it was time to ask. So I whispered in her ear “Stand up baby”. She replied with “Why would I stand up, I don’t want to stand up, I’m perfectly fine laying here” I realized then this wasn’t going to be easy and as planned. So we layed there a bit more and I kissed her neck, and whispered in her ear “Doan……will you marry me” she replied jokingly with “Where’s my ring” I looked at her eyes, smiled, and said “It’s in my pocket”. I asked her again to stand up and this time she finally did. She started to freak out a bit, and I pulled the ring out. I said “Doan Chung…will you marry me” There was a long pause, and as soon as I started to get worried she finally said “Yes”. We hugged, kissed, cried, and laid back down holding each other on what will forever be OUR BEACH.

We took some pictures and even took a picture of the house that we were in front of. The people were coming out of the house and probably thought we were crazy. That or going to kill them. Either way it was funny. We spent the next few days in paradise, deciding that we were going to move back and be married in hawaii. So I’m writing this not on the day I asked her to marry me. But the day that I gave my 2 weeks notice to my job. So in 2 weeks on Friday the 13th I’ll be flying back to hawaii to enjoy paradise with my new fiance. I’d normally say wish me luck, but like I said earlier. I’m not worried about me and Doan. We were meant for each other.

The end.


  1. borkazoid

    Well I don’t really know what to say man, other than to second the fact that you two were made for each other, and I’m sure you’ll be as happy as you already are, and more. I’m so glad for you that you’re doing what you want to do, and I hope it all works out. I know I’ll be coming over to visit and to see you guys, so you better find a place soon 🙂

    You tell a good story my friend, but this one in particular is a good story to be told.

  2. Steve & Nycole

    That’s awesome Ray! I’m so happy for you and Doan…I can’t wait to meet her. And, of course, to see your sweet ass. Best wishes,
    -Steve and Nycole

  3. Guav

    I fucking love this.

  4. Doanne

    I love you more than a fat kid loves cake. Your the best thing that ever happened to me.

  5. Erica Thomas



    I’m actually a friend of Doan’s – would you mind telling her to email me? I’m her old friend from 5th grade, best

    friends with LaReen in Pleasanton.

    Thanks! And by the way, CONGRATS!!

    🙂 Erica

Leave a reply