Regret…

Have you ever thought about that one crucial decision in

your life that totally changed everything? I think i can pretty much pin point mine. I just graduated high school…and in high

school…i was a damn good baseball player. But didn’t have a lot of big school looking at me. So i was playing in a scout

league basically that summer. It was seriously the most hardcore baseball team i’d ever been on. The coaches…one used to

coach a minor league team…and the other used to own a minor league team. so they knew their shit. they changed a lot about

how i played…for the better. half way through this season…and i’m leading this league in batting average and rbi’s. So

i’ve got some people noticing me.

It was about that time…that one of my good friends…amet. tells me that his parents

have a graduation present for me. Amet’s family is far from poor…and they had gotten me a vacation package to cancun for our

senior trip. Which sounded great. 7 days in cancun with all my friends. sounds amazing. i didn’t think twice…i told them

thank you…and how greatful i was. then the next day…i told my coach at practice that i’ll be out the next week in cancun.

without even a second to think about it…no emotion at all…he said “well…you can either leave your uniform here…or brian

will come pick it up from your house this week.” I was like what do you mean? he said…you’re going to miss 4 games and

practice time also. we need people that are here for a reason. so i got pissed…and said fuck it. ended up quiting the

team…and going to cancun.

I had a great time in cancun don’t get me wrong. i ended up meeting stephanie…who i dated

for almost 3 years. and loved very much. so cancun was a blast…but…i got back home. and had no baseball. i went with the

community college in mesquite and started that fall. but then with no financial help from my parents…i had to quit cause i

couldn’t afford to play ball and go to school.

i tried again a few years later. played ball at UTD and did pretty good i

think. but was still in the position that i had to work fulltime…pay for school…go to school…and practice and go on

roadtrips…so it didn’t last. I’m not saying my life is shit now cause of that moment. i’m just saying i think…if i made

a different decision on that one day. my life would be totally different.

I THINK…if i wouldn’t have gone to cancun…my

coaches would have found a good school for me to play for. one that would have helped me financially…so i could focus on

school and baseball. who knows what could have happen after that…but that alone is a huge part of my life that i wish could

have happen. baseball is my true love. and i think i could have done something with it.

don’t know where this whole thing

came from either. just been thinking a lot i guess lately. there are people in my life…that i wish i could have said things

to…or shown them the love i had/have for them. there are people that i wish i would have taken the chance…and when it was

there kissed…just cause i wanted to…and who knows what could have happened. there are a ton of people that i’ve seen…and

wished i would have gone up and at least said hi. but i was too scared. it’s tough. cause i’d like to think there is someone

out there for everyone…that perfect person. but…with all the times i’ve regreted not talking to them. i could have already

missed her. basically there has been a lot of regret in my life. and i’m gonna do everything i can do not let anymore happen.

that’s all…the end.

late

ray



1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    Please don’t say you have any

    regrets……regrets mean that you would change things if you could. You shouldn’t change anything about you or the decisions

    you made in the past. I strongly believe the decisions you made has helped turn you into the awesome person you are. There are

    things in my past that I have also questioned….lots of what if’s. I know we’ve discussed this before, but like I told

    you……you have always held a special place in my heart. You always have…..and you always will…….. No regrets.


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