Obsessed with perfection…

per·fect P Pronunciation Key

(pËšrfkt)adj.Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.(there were more defiinitions…but this is the one that

matters)

For some reason i seemed to be obsessed with this word. it’s what i want…what i expect…what i assume…is out

there. now this applies with everything…when i’m playing baseball…playing pool…painting…writing (well not really

writing…i know i suck at that)…cleaning…everything. but…of course…women. and i know that may sound very like a normal

male statement…but that’s not really what i’m talking about.

I mean everyone’s perfect is different. some people love

short hair…dark skin…tats…whatever. and all those things that everyone likes makes up your own perfect. the problem

is…at least for me…is i think to quick to add perfect to a person. i know a few people that i would consider perfect for me.

they’re everything i’m looking for in everyway…looks…personality…likes…everything. well…almost. cause then

there’s this one thing…that i can’t stand. well…then there’s this other thing that is just retarded. and on and on.

Until that person isn’t perfect at all.

now don’t get me wrong. those people…regardless of all the crap. i’d still

love to be with…but…i call myself a romantic. and i’d really like (cause we all do) to find that one person…that actually

is perfect…even after years of looking for that one thing that is wrong. I’ve been single for awhile now…and i hate it.

but…at the same time…it’s good…cause i don’t want to go through the pain…that someone who i thought was perfect…that

actually turned out to have a list longer than my…well you know…of problems.

honestly…i have no idea…what the hell

this post was about. i guess it’s that…i’m not a fan of being single. and i’d actually like to settle down and all that

jazz…and actually be happy with someone. it’s probably all brought on cause…for once…i feel like i’m not grown up.

I

mean i didn’t get to go to college. couldn’t afford it. so i’ve been working…full time as a designer since i was 18.

i’ve taken care of my parents. basically just had to grow up really fast. but…just like with puberty…everyone around

me…has caught up. everyone’s getting married…having kids…buying houses…all that jazz. all the things that i planned on

having already. and me…i’m a gypsy…i travel too much. live in crazy expensive places…and do random shit. which is

great. it’s just not what i always expected. i’m not complaining…which is what this damn thing probably sounds like. i’m

just ranting. one of those built up over time…random cluster of fucked up thoughts in your head. for some reason writing them

all here helps. so thanks for listening…i’ll quit bitching now…and clean my house.

late

ray



2 Comments

  1. Vickie

    Perfection… I’m not sure if I

    agree. I think realizing that a person is not perfect and then accepting all those little quirks that make them that “imperfect”

    person is the difference between true love and just “love”. I dunno…

  2. Ray Hernandez

    That’s just it though…if

    it’s not right to begin with…then your list of things that you don’t want in your life…gets longer…and longer…until you

    ask yourself…why am i with this person. that’s all i mean. i think i let my heart jump into a troo love feeling way to

    fast…most of the time. that’s all:)


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