Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park…sucks

So today we decided to use the tickets for hawaiian waters adventure park that we had left over from when Doan’s sister came to visit. I was really excited about it…because water slides pretty much raised me. Let me explain. From 4th grade until about 8th grade Wet n Wild was my baby sitter during the summer. My mom would drop me off before she went to work, and someone would pick me up at 7pm that night. My parents got as much use out of that season pass as you could get it.

It’s always been my thing though…roller coasters, water slides, fun and fast…I love it. So I’ve been excited for a couple days now. Finally we’re there! We walk in and look around and it’s pretty nice. Very tropical…not crowded at all…but they’re only open from 12:00pm until 3:30pm. What’s with that bullshit. 3 1/2 hours to ride slides…horrible. Well there is a reason for that.

There are only 6 real rides. Do I seem spoiled? 6 rides might be enough for you guys but that’s no where near enough for me. And get this…they only open half of them every 30 minutes. So 3 are open for 30 minutes…then they close those 3 and open up the other 3. It’s retarded. It’s obviously so they don’t have to hire more lifeguards…but seriously…what do they really do. We had a 450 pound hawaiian guy as our lifeguard for the only good ride at the park. Is he going to dive in and save my ass? I don’t think so.

Anyway…it was fun…but only for about an hour. When you have to be told…sorry we’re closing this ride for 30 minutes…and then you have to walk back down the hill…get a different raft…and walk back up…then wait for the 450 pound hawaiian lifeguard to make it up to the top to turn on the ride. You’d get pissed too. It was horrible. I mean our of the 6 rides 2 of them we went on multiple times. So 3 hours of 2 rides over and over again.


The only good thing about this park…you have to pay extra to ride. They have one of those fake waves that you can surf…which is pretty bad ass…i’d love to have one of this at my house. But to pay 10 bones to ride…it’s not worth it. Especially just to have the local lifeguard and his friends…laugh at you cause you’re not a good surfer.

Tickets were like 30 bones each…and then i get half the rides. STUPID…if you ever come to honolulu…don’t waste your money. They’ve ruined my dream. I really need to go to Cali or back to Texas and go to a good water park this summer so I can get the fun back. Cause right now…it’s fucking gone. Goodbye fun…I’ll miss you.


  1. Broom

    we have a Hawaiian falls water park (or some shit like that) by my house here in texas. I haven’t been there though. I wonder if its the same thing…

    Last time i went to schliterbaughn (sp?) i did all the rides with a cracked rib… kinda takes some of the fun out of it.

  2. Fun

    and i’ll miss you, big guy.

  3. Jessica

    Well i think the water park is descent for being pretty new, it is still in the making. It’s 25 acres but much of the land is wild terrain that needs much construction. The waterpark is fun for the size and you probably went on some weird construction day or something. The waterpark opens at 10:30-6 on weekends then 10:30-3 on weekdays. So if you were smart you would of checked the business hours b4 going… It also still being built, they are constantly adding new rides and i hope you realize that all of hawaii’s water is naturally filtered through hardend lava and coral. Hawaii has a limited amount of fresh water which is contained in an underground aquifer, so think about that before complaining….limited rides….limited water…. make sense…

  4. admin

    Jessica, I hope you work for them, cause it’s pretty annoying the way you stick up for a crappy water park. Have you been to any other park? And please don’t give me the wasting water b.s. A good water park re-uses the same water over and over again. That’s the point of those giant water pumps. Oh and about the hours, I did check the hours…and even called…but they gave me wrong info on the phone, and their website wasn’t up to date. So all of your excuses…really just make the place worse. Thanks though.

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