www.LikeUs.co

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Anyway, I’ve been using TwitterFox for some time now, and really like it. But I’ve never really liked the themes or lack of themes that it came with.  At first you just had the baby blue twitter-ish look.  Which was pretty damn ugly.  And now that they’ve been bought or partnered or whatever with EchoFon you have a grey and a black theme.  And I don’t want to sound like a dick but I really don’t like them either.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they are bad, they are just kinda boring.

So rather than just bitching about it, I decided to do something about it.  After a couple glasses of wine last night, I decided to go ahead and design a couple of themes that I’d be happy to use.  I finished them up just a second ago, and sent them over to the guys at EchoFon.  I don’t know if they are gonna trash it or what, but it would be pretty damn cool to have some themes I did thrown into their extension.  -hint- -hint-

Anyway…here’s what they look like.  These aren’t anything crazy fancy either, cause I do realize there’s not much you can do with a box.  I just prefer a larger icon, larger font, brighter colors, and some clean backgrounds.  So that’s what I did. Let me know what you think.

Grey Theme 1 – “Gravy”

Blue Theme – We’ll call it “The Lazy River”

And the Grey Theme – AKA “McGruff”

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We’ve been lucky enough to find some really cool friends here in Austin.  We work out at a place called CATZ, and most of the trainers there have become some of our best friends.  Scott, one of the trainers, had a birthday party and everyone went all out with the costumes.  I thought I’d share.  See all the photos

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Well as you probably saw, my site has been down for a couple of weeks.  This was due to some leak in Dreamhost where someone was able to inject spam links into all WordPress blogs.  Pretty much it sucked balls, and I had to hire someone to move all of my domains from Dreamhost over to Media Temple.  Oh and this wasn’t an easy process.  Not just because of the amount of stuff I have on the old server, but mainly because the Dreamhost server was so slow, that I couldn’t connect to it most of the time.  This made the process take forever.

But thank god, I’m finally on a blazing fast Media Temple Grid Server and I couldn’t be happier.  Thanks Tej for your hardwork.  And sorry to everyone that I host your site, or to you people that just wanted to see my pretty site :)

Hope this never happens again.  F&$^ Dreamhost!

The end.

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I’ve wanted to make this Firefox extension for some time now, and wanted to mock up how I wanted it to look and work.  The basic idea is when you get a new email, rather than having to change applications, a message could slide down right on your Firefox window.  You could then reply to the message, and carry on with your day.

You might only be saving seconds each time, but throughout the day if you get as many emails as I do.  You’re saving a lot of time.

If there are any developers out there that would like to work with me on this project, please hit me up.

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If you’ve ever seen the show Mr. Bean, than you are probably a fan.  He cracks me up.  I mean he’s in crappy movies, but his show on cable…which was pretty much a silent tv show…was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

So when I found this toy, I just had to put on the “must have” list.

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If you have an iphone,  you know that not having copy and paste is FRIGGIN ANNOYING.  Well pastebud, is out to change all that for us normal iphone users.  I know unlocked phones have cool stuff, and tons of things we bitch about not having, but it’s nice that finally some simple things are finally showing up.

What they say PasteBud is:

pastebud enables round-trip copy and paste on your iPhone or iPod Touch, between the two applications that matter the most: Mail and Safari. And through a clever combination of web services and bookmarklets, it does it without requiring a jailbreak or App Store download. Watch the demo, or hover or tap on each screenshot in the following flow for details.

Demo
PasteBud Demo – iPhone copy n paste

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This was one of the greatest cartoon’s EVER!  And to be able to own a piece of a gold swimming pool, I’d be thrilled. Sideshow Collectibles proudly presents the Walt Disney Classics Collection.

Disney artists have referenced original comic drawings in bringing Scrooge McDuck to three-dimensional life in hand-crafted, hand-painted kiln-fired porcelain with additional ‘plussing’ elements including brass spectacle frames with acrylic lenses, metallic paint and hand-cast pewter components. This lively Scrooge statue sculpted by artist Bruce Lau stands 4

BackStory

“I dive around in it like a porpoise!”

Disney artists have referenced original comic drawings in bringing Scrooge McDuck to three-dimensional life in hand-crafted, hand-painted kiln-fired porcelain with additional ‘plussing’ elements including brass spectacle frames with acrylic lenses, metallic paint and hand-cast pewter components. This lively Scrooge statue sculpted by artist Bruce Lau stands 4 3/4″ high. The statue includes a gift box and Disney Certificate of Authenticity as well as a small format color litho of the Carl Barks’ comic, which inspired the statue.

Scrooge McDuck Vinyl Toy

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If you’re looking for a Christmas present for me, I’m into any super realistic toy that is movie, television, or retro cartoon related.  Just so you know.  Like this Dark Knight 12″ vinyl…pretty freakin sweet!

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I’m so glad I stumbled upon this site when I did.  I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.  The scary thing is that the 2000 picture…looks EXACTLY like I did when I graduated.  It’s scary.  You guys should yearbook yourself and show me the pictures.

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I can’t wait to see what Obama can do. I will say that I feel really positive about what could happen.  I’m always skeptical when it comes to politician’s promises…but this time…I kinda believe he could really make a change.  Only time will tell.

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A complete overhaul on Madskill.com.  They had a site that was a bit dated, and wanted something fresh that showed off their humble spirit and their local flavor.

About Madskill

Madskill is a creative consulting firm dedicated to the cultivation and development of forward thinking ideas. We develop, create, and implement innovative ways to communicate. The most brilliant and profound message is useless if unheard, making the chosen media just as important as the message itself.

We understand that change is the only constant in every aspect of our world. This constant change is what drives us to transcend the norms and break all creative limitations. From fundamental tools to the most advanced technology, we view everything as a canvas to express our creativity.

Simply put, we MAKE THINGS HAPPEN… and we enjoy every bit of it.

Some of our Clients

Scion Hawaii
Smithsonian Institute
Turtle Bay Resort
Contemporary Museum of Hawaii
Hyatt Regency Waikiki Resort and Spa
McDonalds
DVS Shoe Company
Waikiki Shopping Plaza
Panasonic

Launch Website

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Domestic Violence Clearing House Honolulu needed a site to educate teens about domestic abuse.

This was a tough project.  1 for the topic and 2 because teens have such small attention spans.  Not to mention all of the different ways people can be involved in abuse.  What we came up with was a youth oriented design, with a pretty cool “help a friend” feature.

Text anonymous abuse information to your friends:  You simple put in your friends, parent, family members cell phone number, and we send a message with the subject “Abuse is not normal…you don’t have to deal with it”.  The message would contain the process of getting help, as well as contact information to call and get face to face help through the organization.

This project was fullfilling and I hope it helps a lot of teens in Hawaii.

Launch Site

Another aspect of the project was to create a cohesive flow between where the teens are to where the help information is.  So we created them a myspace profile page, that matched the design of the new site.

Launch Myspace

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Feedblendr.com lets you combine multiple feeds into one clean coded feed. Beau Lebens wanted a clean and easy to use interface for this web app.

Red was the color of choice by the client, and I created a very clean, web 2.0 ui. Below you can read a little bit more about Feedblendr.

FeedBlendr takes the feeds you give it, pulls the individual entries from each of them, attempts to sort them in date order (combined across all feeds) and then provides you with a new, blended feed of all entries. This system was written from the ground up using the programming language PHP. I’m also using MySQL to manage the feed information on the backend, and FeedBlendr is hosted on the wonderful DreamHost. Oh, and the subscribe page uses the icons from Feed Icons and OPML Icons. The blog, this page, Tips and Contact are all managed using the wonderful, open-source blogging engine WordPress.

In case you were wondering, my name (the guy who made this) is Beau Lebens. My main website is Dented Reality, and I do all sorts of projects like this one. This visual interface of this site was designed by my good friend Ray Hernandez and coded up by me in my spare time (around my day-job, which takes up way too many hours in the day).

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Was going to be the second site in the Beau Lebens feed family. It never made it live, but the design was just as clean as feedblendr.

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Found this really old site I did for one of my best friends Bea. She was an amazing singer songwriter in NYC, but has since retired and focuses on being a mom.

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A movie review wordpress theme for Shane Semmler, a hawaiian based movie expert.  Not yet live…but hopefully soon.

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Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve had an obsession with go-karts.  Not sure why, but I NEED ONE!  Can’t wait til I have one of these and a lot of acres to tear up.

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I bit off a bit more than I could chew on this one. My thought was to do something really clean, and fill in a lot of space with black. Well clean lines takes a lot more time than loose lines. It’s pretty white…sorry about that. Now I know…keep it dirty :)

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I know I know…6 days in and I already messed up my project. I suck…I realize it. I was thinking about the project I just had a lot going on with the Social Media Camp, Mashable Party, and client work it’s just been crazy busy. So with my excuses thrown out there…I’ve decided to change the rules on this project. Since I’ve already messed up my 1 sketch a day…I’m going to do 30 sketches in 30 days.  This month I’ll have my 30 sketches, but some days I’ll have to do more than one sketch to get myself to the goal number.

Oh and my pen died. Which sucks cause it was a really good pen. I had to just find one sitting around the house, and I really hate how the ink goes on the page with this pen. I’ll have to buy a new one tomorrow.

With all that said…here is sketch 7

And here is sketch 8

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Me and Beau launched MyBabyOurBaby.com in mid-february, but I haven’t had a chance or really the balls to get out there and show it off. I recently moved to Austin, TX where there are tons of techy people and events going on almost every week. So I decided it was time to man up and look around for what’s going on. I ended up finding Austin 3.0‘s blog which just happened to have a list of events going on this week Social Media Camp and the Mashable party were all going on the following day so I decided I had to pull an all day-er/nighter and go to both.

Social Media Camp was awesome. Erica ran an amazing camp, and there were quite a few really great presenters. Yoono, Dell, and Giovanni & Whurley just to name a few. Everyone there was really friendly.  People just made it a point to shake your hand, and ask where you work. I had some interesting conversations with a ton of people, and made plenty of business contacts which is what I really wanted to get accomplished.

So now that I’ve made some friends/contacts it’s time to drink. So we headed over to the Mashable party at Buffalo Billiards and start to get our drank on. The night is going great. There is an open bar, free food, and tons of people. So same as before, walked around and met a few more people. Until I ran into an old highschool friend. I hung out with them for a bit, before the beer got to me. I had to umm…relieve myself. So I took a quick stop at the restroom (I realize this is gross,but it’s an integral part of the story) where I happened to run into Pete Cashmore. I finish up, take my ring off, and wash my hands. From there me and Pete walk out and make our way through the crowd. By the time I get to the bar, I realize that my ring isn’t on my finger. I start to freak out. I start moving bar stools in case it fell on the floor and have some of my new friends help look around on the floor. It was about 15 minutes later, after a quick chat with security, when I realized that I left it in the bathroom. I run back only to find my engagement ring is gone. Sweat instantly starts to run from my forehead.

This ring is pretty special. Not only is it my engagement/wedding ring, but it was bought for me on the side of the road in China. So it’s not replaceable, by any means. So at this point I’m freaking. I walk around checking everyone’s finger, asking everyone if they’d seen it. Obviously they hadn’t, but most people told me they’d keep an eye out. About an hour and a half of searching, and I had given up. It was gone, and my soon to be wife was going to be so upset. I felt horrible. Just as I was leaving, I told Michael Cummings about the situation. He had been taking photos of the event, and I asked him to keep an eye out while he was shooting people. He said he would, and I decided to go home. My great day had pretty much been ruined. It was my fault, I forgot it and left it in the bathroom. I called my fiance, Doan, on the way home. I told her what happened and I could just hear the pain in her voice. She was hurt, which hurt me even more.

So here it is the next day, and I’m reading everyone’s tweets and blogs about how great the party was. All it’s doing is reminding me about how I lost my wedding ring. It’s about 3pm, and Beau sends me a couple of links of Michaels photos from the Mashable party. I take a quick look, and then get the crazy idea to go through all 318 photos of the event. And check everyone’s hand to see if there is any way I could find my ring myself. About 45 minutes in…I FIND IT. I see a guy posing with friends and he’s wearing my ring. It’s pretty obvious. There aren’t a lot of rings out there with a screw and a bolt welded to a band.

So here’s where Social Media comes into play. I quickly twitter that I lost my ring at the Mashable party, and posted a link to the photo asking if anyone knew the guy on the right. Within 5 minutes I had replies back leading me in the right direction. And oddly, all of this lead me back to Austin 3.0 where I first found out about the events. Kristine who runs the site, was in the photo as well. So I emailed her through the blog next. She quickly replied with “No worries, I found your ring. You can come pick it up at Conjunctured at 5pm. I run to the car, sit in traffic, and finally make it there. There it is, just as crazy and shiny as the day I got it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Poking around on Flickr, clicking through a few blogs and then a few messages on Twitter later and I had tracked down my wedding ring. I couldn’t believe it really – I think it’s the best (definitely the most personal) example of the power of social media I’ve seen or heard of yet.

Thanks so much to Beau, Kristine, Michael Cummings, and everyone else who helped and re-tweeted my message.

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What yall thank?

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I am thinking about how to get a ninja out of this, but thats a lot of black in 5 minutes :)

I have to say though, I do feel like I’m getting a little better with every one. Not with the sketch exactly, but just with the process of putting pen to paper and the ideas I have in my head. Seems like this project is working.

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I got my generation 1 iPhone a few weeks after it launched, so it wasn’t an issue. No lines, no wondering if it was gonna be in stock, nothing. With the 3G iPhone, I knew there would be lines the first couple of days in major cities, but had no idea there were still lines.

I just took Kola (my dog) for a walk, and since we are lucky enough to live in a mall type area with an apple store he normally gets a good walk and I get to window shop. So as we walked up toward the apple store I saw about 50 people standing in line. I asked an old woman in a wheelchair what was going on, thinking maybe it was a in store concert or something. I obviously shouldn’t have asked an old woman in a wheelchair about anything dealing with computers, cause she asked her son and he said with a…are you an idiot look on your face…”iPhones of course”.

I’ve been going back and forth between getting the new phone. With the cell plan prices going up, at&t thinking of charging you more for too much internet usage, and these stupid lines. They’ve made my decision for me. My generation 1 iPhone has the new software with all of the new apps, and that makes it fine by me. It’s not like you’re getting much anyway. How about they add the normal things that most cell phones have. Video, sms an image to a friend’s phone, or even receive video and image sms from your friends :) maybe Generation 3.

Lines are stupid.

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What chall thank?

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I’ve had a bit of a struggle finding a way to see The Dark Knight. The day before it opened I walked into the Imax theatre to buy a ticket for the midnight show, only to find out that it had been sold out for 2 weeks. Since I was sold out I bought I ticket for the next available showing, which was 4 days later. Sadly, I had to take someone to the airport so I missed that show.

But finally last night I got to see the film. We went to the regular theatre, cause I was just tired of waiting. But even at the regular theatre, the 8:30pm show that we were planning on going to was sold out. It was like god didn’t want me to see this film. But since the 8:30 was sold out we bought tickets for the 9:50pm show. FINALLY…we have tickets…and I’m not gonna miss the show. I told doan we have to get there early if we’re gonna have a decent seat. So we show up about 40 minutes early, but there were even more surprises. I line around the theatre to get into our show. No worries…I don’t care if I have to sit in the front row I’m gonna see this film.

We ended up about 4 rows from the front in the center, so it was a pretty good location. It was obviously sold out, but everyone there had the same…I can’t wait to see this movie…emotion. This was the first time in a long time that I’d been to a packed theatre, that someone didn’t annoy me. Normally there is a baby or people talking, cellphones, something, but that night everyone was focused.

I’m just gonna throw it out there. BEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE EVER MADE! I’m sure some people are freaking out about that statement, but in my opinion this was full on perfection. I was much more a fan of Batman Begins than any of the other Batman movies. I loved the older ones, but they were a cartoon movie, and Batman Begins was a real movie. I mean Bruce Wayne became a ninja vigilante…how cool is that? With The Dark Knight it was more of what I’ve grown to love with Batman Begins. It was a great movie, with cool gadgets, vehicles, and some amazing technology that I’m sure gave some code geeks some interesting ideas.

On top of being the best movie I’ve seen in a long time, Heath Ledger was an amazing Joker. I know everyone says Jack Nicholson made the joker, and I’m not saying he wasn’t great. I’m saying the Batman movie with Jack in it was a cartoon, and Jack was a clown that killed people. Heath however was a crazy mother fucker. He came off like a realistic crazy madman with all kinds of issues. There was a scene where the joker gets thrown off a building and all you hear is him laughing. That’s some crazy shit…laughing at the idea of death. Heath will always be the Joker in my eyes from here on out. It’s just sad that if there ever is another Batman movie (which I hope there is) Heath Ledger wont be around to add more Joker to the screen. I really hope that they don’t try to come out with another movie, and have someone besides Christian Bale be the Batman. I hate when movies do that. Which was another reason I wasn’t a big fan of the older Batman movies. You have to stick with the crew, or it just doesn’t flow as a sequel.

Anyway…I think this is the only movie review I’ve ever done on my blog, and I really hope that I didn’t give anything away. I just had to let you know how badass this film was. If you’re in the small % of people that haven’t seen it yet. GO SEE IT! It’s worth it.

The Dark Knight

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Anyway…here it is…let me know what you think. I’m gonna take Miller’s idea and video one of these and put it up. But that’s gonna have to wait til Doan gets back from florida…cause my camera doesn’t do video. Until then…late.

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I’ve always been fascinated with games teaching kids. Tricking them into thinking they’re playing video games when really you’re teaching them these crazy mathematical functions, without them even realizing. It’s pretty dope. Anyway I just found this game called TOTEM DESTROYER, and I’ve been playing it for the last 30 minutes. I got a bit addicted to it. It’s pretty cool and simple. You blow up blocks without knocking the little gold man to the floor. The blocks fall as if they would in real life, so it’s basically teaching you all about physics, weight shifts, and gravity.

TOTEM DESTROYER

Where was this stuff when I was a kid. What level can you make it to?

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I don’t know if you guys ever knew, but I’ve always called myself a portrait painter. I’ve always drawn faces…and I even spent my entire senior portfolio drawing nothing buy eyes. There is just something about a faces and eyes…you can tell what kind of mood someone’s in just by looking at their face. And that’s what I love. It’s so expressive.

With that said here is sketch 2 of the 5 minute sketch project. I might mix it up and do something other than a portrait, but then again…it’s what I love…so I might not.

Let me know what you think.

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So I’ve been an artist pretty much my whole life. Drawing, painting, sketching, ruining, breaking you name it. I was doing it. But over the last 3 or 4 years my artist side of my life has really faded into the distance. I don’t want to lose my chops so I’ve decided to create a project for myself.

The project is called SKETCH. The plan is I’m going to sketch “something” for 5 minutes everyday for 30 days. And from there I’m going to take a photo of the sketch, upload it, and then combine them all into a photobook. I’m doing this for a couple of reasons. 1…I’m a big believer of use it or lose it. And I feel like I might be losing some of it. So I want to get a little crisper as an artist. 2…I just want to feel creative again. Doing corporate work day in and day out can really get to me. And doing this…even for 5 minutes…makes me feel creative again. Who knows…maybe it’ll make my corporate work even better.

So above is the first sketch from the project…next to my phone counting down the time. And below is a little closer view. Let me know what you think of the idea, and be sure to check back daily for my updates.

Wish me luck.

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Dear Yahoo,

I’ve paid your premium Mail Plus option for almost 4 years now. And the only reason I’ve paid it is so I can check all of my mail in one place. And that one place is my Mac Mail App, where all of my other mail from my websites, gmail, and internet provider all work seamlessly…for free. I’ve debated this for awhile, and the only reason I haven’t dropped yahoo was cause it was the first email address I have ever had. A lot of my contacts have and still use that email, but because I have to manually go to the website to check my mail…I never get the messages. It’s just FUCKING ANNOYING! And the time has come to say “I’m done with you.” So as of today I will no longer be checking my Yahoo Mail rhernandez88 [at] yahoo.com. So if you still use that email…don’t anymore…cause I wont be checking it. If you need to get a hold of me please use the free and easy to use ray.hernandez [at] gmail.com.

It’s a sad day. I’m deleting my first ever email address from my life. I just want to add that this isn’t about money…cause it’s not expensive. It’s about principle. Free is the new black, and when your biggest competitors offer the same service, and some would say better service, for free. Then you should too. That’s all I’m saying.

So goodbye my old friend. Maybe one day you’ll come to your senses…and we can be friends again. But until that day. PEACE!

Sincerely,

Ray Hernandez

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A month has gone by…and we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the new carpet that the complex put in before we moved in. So we ran to costco and bought a good vacuum. Brought it home and started sucking. So after about 10 minutes…and vacuuming half of the place…the bag in the vacuum was full. And it wasn’t just full it was FUCKING DISGUSTING! I couldn’t believe how much crap there was in this brand new carpet.

So beware of new carpets…vacuum the hell out of that thing. I’ll keep you posted on wether or not our cough goes away and that was the cause. But even if it wasn’t…did you see the crap that came out of the carpet? Crazyness.

Late

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I just can’t say anything bad about this channel. You watch all of these self made videos, and it’s like having a educated conversation with a smart person at a bar. It’s pretty amazing. Then like today I see this amazing video:

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Doan and I are getting married in Austin, Texas! On August 8, 2008. We invite you to celebrate our wedding with us. The wedding is going to be fairly small so everyone who is invited holds a special place in our hearts and we would be honored to share this very special day with you.

We ask that everyone arrives by Thursday the 7th by 12:00pm because we are planning an a*# kicking, paintball event that afternoon to shake off all my pre-wedding stress. In the evening we’ll be grubbing down on some Southern Texas BBQ and the next day will be the wedding. We plan on renting a van to haul everyone around so if you want to save money you don’t have to rent a vehicle, but you can if you want to because the venue is about 45 minutes away from Austin. Lodging is pretty cheap and right down the street from the venue. Kelly’s Country Cottages, (512)847-5898, is about 8 minutes from where we will be at. Please make arrangements now because they’re limited on cottages. If you really want to come but your strapped for cash we totally understand. Just get your butt to Austin and have enough for paintball and we’ll take care of the rest.

We are renting out the whole bed and breakfast so we’ll be more than happy to share the place with you. There’s a lot of extra rooms and there’s also a huge yoga room upstairs. If we have to we’ll blow up some air mattresses and have a huge sleep over. That actually sounds like a lot of fun. Just let us know in advance so we can reserved the space for you. Oh, and if you do need us to pick you up from the airport we can anytime before 1:00 p.m. on Thursday and we can take back to the airport anytime after 3:30 on Saturday. We’re super excited to see all of you there.

Also, I want to make it very clear that we are not expecting gifts. We understand that weddings are expensive not just for the bride and groom but for their guest as well. We’d much rather have you there than have a gift. With that said, if you really want to we’re not gonna stop you. Here’s our wish list from Amazon. Feel free to go wild and crazy. We also set up a honey moon account for your convenience. We would greatly appreciate any donations so we can start saving up for a honey moon. If there’s no possible way you can make it, that sucks balls, but since your not coming a gift or donation into the account would be a great way to make up for it.

See you guys soon and start practicing your paintball skills now because we’re gonna bust a cap in yo a**!

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I started thinking about this idea back in 2006, and it’s been a long time since then. But today my friends…is the day that it’s finally become a reality. I’ve gone through about 4 different developers who all thought the idea was great, but accepted without realizing how big the project actually was. After that…somehow…I talked Beau into working on this project with me. It was a tough sell, but we’ve done it. At 5:42pm (hawaiian time) MyBabyOurBaby.com went live. We built a full on baby scrapbooking website with a twist. The twist is something I think is really cool. We allow you to invite your friends and family to contribute. That sentence doesn’t sound like a lot, but think about how many photos of your kids are laying around on someone’s camera or computer. Your kids go visit your grandparents for a summer, your friends come over for dinner party, you see the family for thanksgiving…digital cameras everywhere and you know your kid is in one or two of the those photos. With the site you just invite the friends and family that are close to you and they get the ability to upload photos and tell stories that you might not have even known about. How great is that? Your whole family and even your friends are creating a scrapbook for your kid.

Anyway I’m really proud of both of us…and excited to see what happens next. It’s the first night and we already got a write up on Mashable. So that’s a great way to start.

Check it out if you have kids or know someone who does (come on…we all know someone with a kid)

My Baby Our Baby

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January 23, 2008, 1:27pm (hawaii time) represents a monumental moment in my life. What it represents is the first time in my life that a venture, idea, project that I have been a part of has become a reality. I mean I’ve worked for big companies and come up with ideas and had those go through and be successful, but this is different. This is an idea…a design…and a totally new market…that was created by me and Beau.

It’s crazy. At 1:27pm I sent out the first beta test invitation for mybabyourbaby.com. The online baby scrapbooking site we’ve been developing for about 5 months. It was pretty crazy…my heart was racing while I was putting in people’s email address in my mail app. You always think in your head that it’s just another day…but you are inviting someone to something that you built. It’s like asking someone if your baby is cute. You know they’re gonna say yes…but there is a slight chance that they tell you something you don’t want to hear.

Anyway I just want to say thank you to Beau for taking a chance on an idea…and making it happen. We built something pretty sweet and in about 2 weeks everyone is gonna know about it. It’s a crazy time in my life…and I can’t wait for this thing to take off.

Also I want to give an early thank you to all my friends and family that are going to get hounded in the next couple of weeks to tell everyone they know and invite every friend or family member they have with a child :) So ummm…thanks.

Anyway…just had to document this day.

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Whatever…to this day…the sound of Michael Jackson songs just make me happy…so you’ll see how happy this video made me.

Enjoy.

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I admit…I fell for it. The movie with no name…no idea what’s going on…no idea of what kind of monster. I mean I should have known. If they’re hiding it from you…it’s probably cause it sucks. Cause it fucking did.

The beginning gets you rolling just like the trailer did…gets you into it…but then it just turns stupid. I don’t mean stupid like a horribly produced movie…I mean stupid like the characters in the movie were just stupid. I mean if a fucking monster is attacking my city…I’m not gonna chill in the street and talk it over with my friends on what we should do. Then I’m not gonna hang out in the subway where the monster is above me…and could potentially crush the concrete above my head. I’m also not going to let my friends get me potentially killed over some chick my friend had sex with once. All pretty fucking stupid.

My ass is gonna grab a gun…steal a car…and fucking book it out of the city as fast as I can. Not only stupid but short. The movie was like an hour and 24 minutes. It rolled by pretty quickly. And I use the word “rolled” because the fucking camera work is horrible. Blair witch new york. And I understand the “I want to make this real” approach…but figure out a way to make it real and steady. I don’t like being dizzy and turning my head to watch a movie. It’s annoying.

The ending…was kinda stupid as well…but I didn’t mind it as much as the rest of the movie. The best part of the movie was when the credits started to roll…and I heard from the whole theate “I want my money back!” “That movie fucking sucked” “What a crock”. It was pretty fucking amusing.

All in all…don’t waste your money. I mean there are a couple of sexy ladies…but they just walk through the streets and a couple of times running through the streets. EXCITING. All in all it’s a bunch of hype in my opinion. Cause I keep reading all of these great reviews on this thing…and I can’t figure out what they saw that I didn’t.

So for a recap: Cloverfield sucks balls. The end.

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It’s always been my thing though…roller coasters, water slides, fun and fast…I love it. So I’ve been excited for a couple days now. Finally we’re there! We walk in and look around and it’s pretty nice. Very tropical…not crowded at all…but they’re only open from 12:00pm until 3:30pm. What’s with that bullshit. 3 1/2 hours to ride slides…horrible. Well there is a reason for that.

There are only 6 real rides. Do I seem spoiled? 6 rides might be enough for you guys but that’s no where near enough for me. And get this…they only open half of them every 30 minutes. So 3 are open for 30 minutes…then they close those 3 and open up the other 3. It’s retarded. It’s obviously so they don’t have to hire more lifeguards…but seriously…what do they really do. We had a 450 pound hawaiian guy as our lifeguard for the only good ride at the park. Is he going to dive in and save my ass? I don’t think so.

Anyway…it was fun…but only for about an hour. When you have to be told…sorry we’re closing this ride for 30 minutes…and then you have to walk back down the hill…get a different raft…and walk back up…then wait for the 450 pound hawaiian lifeguard to make it up to the top to turn on the ride. You’d get pissed too. It was horrible. I mean our of the 6 rides 2 of them we went on multiple times. So 3 hours of 2 rides over and over again.

HORRIBLE!

The only good thing about this park…you have to pay extra to ride. They have one of those fake waves that you can surf…which is pretty bad ass…i’d love to have one of this at my house. But to pay 10 bones to ride…it’s not worth it. Especially just to have the local lifeguard and his friends…laugh at you cause you’re not a good surfer.

Tickets were like 30 bones each…and then i get half the rides. STUPID…if you ever come to honolulu…don’t waste your money. They’ve ruined my dream. I really need to go to Cali or back to Texas and go to a good water park this summer so I can get the fun back. Cause right now…it’s fucking gone. Goodbye fun…I’ll miss you.

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I tried to find more about the firm who did it but could only find a lil information about the directors. Here is the higher rez version of it if you’re all about the quality. Let me know what you think.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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There’s a lot going on in ’08…starting a new business…getting married…trying to buy a house…”potentially” moving back to Texas…voting for the very first time…and now I’ve decided…I’m not eating any red meat. It’s not hard to make a decision like this when you’re holding your stomach in pain…wondering if you’re about to vomit. Cause that’s how I’ve started feeling every time I eat red meat. A burger…a steak…whatever…it just makes me feel horrible. I don’t get that way chicken…fish…or pork…just good ole delicious meat.

I’m gonna miss you…and it’s gonna be hard…but I think I’ll feel a lot better after doing this. So as of today I am officially a Texas Vegetarian. Wish me luck.

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So we’ve been trying to find our halloween costumes today. We went to party city and gave up cause there were 8 million people there. But on the way home we decided to stop by this little craft shop…to see if we could make anything. The store was pretty crap, but as we were walking out…I saw Beth Chapman.

Doan ran up to her and told her we love her…and of course…asked for a picture. But just like Mathew Fox…a couple of months ago…she said “Sorry…my daughter doesn’t like me to take photos when we’re out”. So doan was shunned again. But it was just random to run into dog the bounty hunter‘s wife at a small craft shop.

The end.

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We took the sneeky route. We parked on the side of the road rather than paying the 3 bones to get in the parking lot. Yeah I know doan has turned me into a cheap skate. So anyway…we park on the road…and start walking into this patch of a farm. I need to add that I hate being dirty. Not like normal people hate being dirty…like…i need 8 million napkins eating bbq cause I seriously hate being dirty. So with that being said. Walking around in the dirt with slippers (sandals for you non hawaii folk) gets you fucking dirty. Our feet and legs were just brown. And not like i’m a mexican so obviously I’m brown. It was like I’m a mexican that hasnt’ showered and pick fruit at a white man’s farm brown. I know. Shity. So anyway like I said earlier this place was like a wannabe carnival. There were rock climbing booths, space ships for the little ones, and for the adults…pink plastic bags to carry all of the huge pumpkins you want. Yeah like this fucking pink thin ass bag is going to hold the 30 pound pumpkin. Why even hand me anything. Have they not seen this texas size plastic trash island? Hand me a wagon to pull these damn things.

So once you pass the carnival type area you’re just in the middle of a farm. Lots of rows of…you guessed it…pumpkins. We go up and down rows upon rows of pumpkins just looking for that one that’s calling to us saying “Pick me! Pick Me! I want to be carved up with a nice and have my insides ripped out!” And after about an hour, we found our first pumpkin sacrifice. So I put it into one of those bullshit pink bags they gave us. And we keep looking. About 20 minutes later we’ve found ourselves at the very back (farthest away from the car as possible) of this farm. And what starts to happen? The fucking bag breaks. Just rips the handles right off. So I get pissed…and say fuck it…there are a million of these things…we’ll find another one…and I put it down. We’re searching and searching. And have made our way all the way back to the front of the farm.

By this time doan had found her pumpkin…and had a great idea to carve Gene Simmons in Kiss on this white pumpkin. But it was after she found this that she said “ya know…I really like that pumpkin that we had at first. i think it was perfect” If you’d like me to translate that for you…she said “Hey…I want that pumpkin you left in the very back of the farm. Go get it…cause that’s the one I want.” Well that’s what I heard anyway. So we tracked it back to the end of the farm…not even knowing if it would still be there. Lucky for me. It was there…still in the broken pink bag. So I created more trash for the texas size island and carried the pumpkin back to the front of the farm.

So now we have our pumpkins and are making our way to the front where there is a long line of people standing in front of a sign that said “Pumpkin Pay Here”. Now I don’t know if they know this or not…but that doesn’t fuck make sense. Pay for your pumpkin here…maybe. Whatever…it’s hawaii. It was when I saw that sign that I got an idea. We didn’t pay for parking…so should we even pay for these pumpkin? I looked at doan and let her know my idea…and being the thief that she is…of course she got all excited and said lets do it. So we walked like were going to the pay line…and then got behind a family that just paid and were heading to the parking lot. We’re sneaky bastards.

So we loaded these bad boys up and I looked to doan and said “The gots no money from us baby doll”. So long story short we’re a couple of dirty brown thieves.  But it was fucking fun. I can definately see us taking our kids to something like this every year. I’m sure they’ll get a kick out of it for like 10 minutes…and then I’ll have to carry them and the pumpkins. Sounds great huh?

Well thanks doan…for taking me to my first Pumpkin Patch. It was orgasmic. And I’ll put up some picks of our carved pumpkins when we get them done. You can see all the pumpkin patch photos here.

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Launch Website

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Enjoy

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UPDATE: So if you already read below…then skip it and just go here. After me praising zazzle…i came to realize they suck. So here it is, normal as can be at cafe press. If you got a better website to make shirts let me know. thanks

So I made this design to wear to wordcamp 2007 in San Francisco next month. And I wanted to go ahead and put it out there for anyone who wanted it. So I uploaded it to Bountee which I thought was one of the coolest cafe press wannabe sites out there. Then I get this email:

Thanks ever so

much for uploading a design to Bountee.com – we really appreciate your time and effort, but unfortunately the voting period has

ended and the Bountee community has not given your Tee-Shirt enough votes this time :(

And this means that we

won’t be able to make it available for your fellow Bountee friends to buy.

We hope that you understand – and

thanks again.

The design that you submitted can still be viewed here:

href=”http://bountee.com/members/design/view.jsp?id=46038″

target=”_blank”>http://bountee.com/members/design/view.jsp?id=46038

We’re really sorry that this one didn’t

work out, but we hope that the next one will send them racing for the YES! button.

And as our grandmother used to

say:
“Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock”.

Have a nice

day!

Bountee*

And I’m not mad cause they said no to my design. I don’t have that much of an ego…I’m mad cause I don’t think their site is very organized with it’s process. They rely on the “community” to vote designs in, and I actually think that no one voted on my design which is why it was revoked, but I haven’t taken the time to vote on anyone’s shirt. So I’m sure that no one wants to take the time to vote on mine either.

I just don’t think that’s a good model. Designers are fucking lazy. Regardless…I dont’ care, I just thought bountee was going to be a great replacement to CafePress. Especially after all their talks about their great printers.

So here’s the  save wordpress shirt. I signed up at zazzle cause they got a great review from techcrunch. I actually really like their model. You can get any size, color, style shirt you want with the design.

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It’s like I’m a kid all over again this year.

Transformers, Spiderman 3, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Simpson’s Movie all this year. I haven’t seen any of these movies, but it’s nice to know that I can be a kid again right now.

I just saw the simpson’s movie website and it’s pretty pimp. You can make your own simpson’s avatar. I had to do a bit of photoshop work to get a lil hawk and beard going, but I think it’s a pretty good character. I can totally picture myself playing pool at moe’s.

Anyway…just random but I miss the 80′s.

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Okay I’m a huge lost fan, and it’s by far the best show I’ve ever seen in my life. But all the twists and turns drives me fucking nuts. I thought last night’s finale was pretty fucking sweet, but I got a little too drunk while watching it so I sat down and watched it again with the captions on tonight just to make sure I caught everything. Also while watching this I decided to check out what other people were saying about it get some new theories on DIGG. There

were some great ideas on there but nothing matched. I kept disproving everything people said in my head. But I kept telling Shane and Doan these theories to see what they’d think. We went back and forth on a few, but then…it just came to Shane. He figured it out. And I totally agree with him. No one has written anything about it, and I’m assuming know one thinks this at all, BUT IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. Here are the parts of theory that just seem to be 100% dead on:

Why would Jack who’s off the island feel guilty? He’s obviously drugged up, and says to Kate “I don’t want to keep lyin”, sitting in a room with tons of maps of the pacific, and he wants to crash on a plane and go back to the island.

THE LOGICAL ANSWERS:

1. Guilty that he abandoned all of the other survivors, when getting rescued with Kate. Just like Michael Did. Meaning that the people they called on the sat phone are going to show up in a small helicopter. They’ll say I can only take 2 at a time, and obviously Jack will go with…kate?…and once he’s on the copter they’re going to tell him that he can’t go back or say anything about or x, y, or z.

2. Michael is probably the person in the casket which is why Jack says that he’s neither friend of family. That or it’s Walt. It’s a small casket, and if you watch closely…the first paper that jack has is small and narrow, while the one he gives Kate is wide longer one. This could mean that the funeral scene was Walt’s funeral, and the paper he gave Kate was to Michael’s funeral.

Here’s why I think that as well. I found a high rez photo of the paper and it reads:

” Los Angeles Man found dead…downtown loft The body of J.. anthem of new york was found shortly after 4 a.m. in the..of Grand Avenue

Ted… doorman at The Tower .. heard loud noises coming from …man’s loft Concerned for the man’s safety he entered the … discovered the body hanging from a beam in the master bedroom……according…”

Michael is from New York, an artist so would have a loft, Michael’s real name is Jonathan Michael Chantham. So like I said before…Funeral 1 is Walt. Michael was so upset about that he hung himself in his loft…hence funeral 2 that Jack was curious if Kate was going to the funeral.

3. Kate is obviously not in jail for murder or running from the fbi…oh and bank robbery, which is why she wouldn’t go to the funeral and is keeping her distance from Jack.

The big question is: Why can’t Jack tell anyone about the island? Is it to protect Kate’s identity or life or is there something else there?

Obviously I got more theories, but these are the ones I want to talk about…so tell me what you think and your theories.

OH…on a side note me, shane, and doan ran into Jack today at Muddy Waters Coffee in Kailua. Doan asked him nicely if she could get a picture with him, and like a dick he said “Naaa…I’m leaving” Now I know you’re a big star and all that shit, but how hard is it to take 5 seconds to smile? I mean I get that you want a normal life, and just want to chill, but seriously. Smile, click, out the door…no big deal. Whatever…Jack’s a dick. The

end.

UPDATE: I was half asleep when I wrote this, and I totally forgot to add another “I saw but I don’t know if anyone else did. Well actually Doan did. The lady and child that wrecked and Jack quote/unquote saved could be Juliette’s cancer be gone sister who had a child.  Uh huh…remember they showed that live feed of her sister with her son on the swing. Yep Yep Jack almost killed Juliet’s family. Like I said at the end…He’s a dick.

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Rambo 4

Okay I really don’t know what’s up with Stallone right now. I mean is he just trying to ruin everything that’s made him famous. Lets take Rocky. Great movies. I mean how many movies can say they’ve had 4 and a half great movies. Why ruin it with following down old man in american trunks fighting a young kid. I mean wasn’t that what the 5th one was anyway. Stupid.

Now I just found out today that Rambo 4 is coming out. Check out this Video Trailer of Rambo 4. It looks absolutely horrible. I mean, no one wants to watch this shit. It was great in the 80′s cause everything really sucked quality wise in the 80′s. Doing the same kind of movie…which it is…is fucking stupid. What’s wrong with these people. I mean Stallone must be producing, directing, and paying for absolutely everything in this one, cause who would want to be a part of this. Not to mention Stallone just looks weird now. It’s like his face and body have just become overly large like he has a slight case of elephantitis. I’ll get back to you on that one.

Anyway here is the trailer for Rambo 4

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There’s something about this place. I just can’t stay away. After moving to San Francisco and meeting the girl of my dreams, I knew we were going to be moving somewhere together. But she was so obsessed with hawaii before I even met her. She’s always wanted to live in hawaii…it’s been her dream. So I wanted her dream to come true. So here we are again.

I feel like we’ve been here for so long already, because we’ve done so much in a short period of time. Here’s a quick recap of what’s happen so far.

We made it in time for Amber and Tyler’s wedding

Shane lost a bet at Dave and Busters and had to wear pink panty hoes down the waikiki strip

We ran into Syeed at Barnes and Noble

I started body boarding and Doan started jogging with her new pimp armband

We went to KukuaFestival with Jack Johnson and Eddie Vedder

We BBQ every weekend

We are all professional Guitar Hero players

We got a bus pass

And Doan started her own food blog

So yeah…things are going well…we’re getting tan and already losing weight. Doan’s really happy about being here, but not about having to work. She just started working at Cheeseburger in Paradise. She’s ready for me to get rich so she doesn’t have to work anymore. I’m ready for that too.

On a side not…have you guys noticed that they came up with a new…skinnier…cookie crisp dog. I think it’s bullshit. It’s probably because the government says that kids are too fat. So lets market skinny people…even cartoon dogs. But what they’re forgetting is the kid will still be eating fucking cookies for breakfast. No shit he’s gonna be fat. But so what…he’s a kid…and should be able to be chubby. Fuck you cookie crisp. You don’t see Captain Crunch going on a diet. Be fat and proud. I had to get that off my chest. Sorry.

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I talked to my mom about a week before I moved to san francisco. She told me it was a good move to go there and that I’d meet my soul mate there. Well she was right. I met Doan Chung on August 25th 2005, around 8pm, at Swig Bar on Geary and Taylor Street. From the first second I saw her I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. She came to the bar to see Bea perform. Jackie and Bea were in san francisco for the virgo bash. Since Jackie was from the area she called up her cousins and Doan to come to the show. So if it wasn’t for Jackie and Bea I would have never met my future wife.

I remember sitting at the bar with Jackie right before Bea started her set. I leaned over to Jackie and whispered “I love your friend”. And with Jackie being Jackie she looks straight at Doan and says “RAY LOVES YOU!” I instantly freaked and was totally embarrassed, but Doan looked at me, smiled, and said “I love him too”. I was hooked from that second.

Over the next couple of months I saw a lot of Doan. We would both work during the day and she would drive all the way from Vacaville to San Francisco (about 2 hours each way) just to come and see me almost everyday. The months flew by and before we knew it I was packing my stuff up and moving in with her in Vacaville.

That was the toughest place I’d ever lived. It was a 2 hour drive each way from Vacaville to San Francisco, but that was only when the traffic wasn’t bad, and you had a car. The first couple of weeks I lived in Vacaville Doan was in China with her family. So I had to find my own way to work. My Day went like this. I woke up at 4am, left the house by 5am, walked to the bus stop, took an hour long ride to el cerrito, hopped on bart into the city, then a bus to my office. It was insane and about 5 hours of travel each way. Luckily my life got better when Doan got back. We still had a crazy commute, but driving with my baby everyday is a good day.

We lived in Vacaville for just about a month and we found a crazy space. We found a 8200 sq ft loft in oakland california. It was totally trashed, but I saw it and just knew how beautiful it could be. So Doan called them up and got us a ridiculous deal on the space. We then spent tons of time and money fixing up the space. We turned half into her massage spa called Humble Way, and half our living space. We had some cool parties, and a lot of good times, but we were stressed.

So stressed that we needed a vacation. So we decided we’d go back to hawaii for a couple of weeks. She didn’t know this but I had planned to ask her to marry me there. A couple of months before I was looking desparately for a beautiful engagement ring. I’m not normal though and neither is Doan. So I had to have something completely her and totally creative. So a little insight into Doan. SHE’S OBSESSED WITH SUGAR! I don’t say that lightly. She seriously eats sugar every second that she can, orders dessert for her appetizer, and can’t let ice cream sit in the freezer for more than a day. She’s sugar crazy. And since I wanted her engagement ring to be all about her. I had to find a sugar themed ring. I spent weeks looking around, and finally I found Holly Cruise’s website. She had a series of jewelry that was nothing but cake with frosting. I had to have it.

I wrote Holly telling her my situation and getting some prices. She said what size is she? I had no idea. I spent the next week going through Doan’s jewelry boxes trying to find something. And nothing was any help. Holly was really cool about it. She said she had a size 8 which was obviously going to be too big, but I’d have it at least. She said after you find out her size, just send it back and she’ll make me a custom one perfect size for Doan.

So I had it sent to the office, and even had to have Beau buy it for me because Doan is checking the bank everyday and asking me about transactions. So I knew she’d know something was up. Finally we were off on our trip. We did all the usual stuff: hiking, swimming, tanning, eating and of course drinking. It was fun as can be. We stayed with my friend Shane who asked me when we got there if I was nervous about asking her. I looked at him and said “Not at all. I think people that are scared are worried if they’re making the right decision. I KNEW I was making the right decision.”

So a few days go by, and we go to the beach that I planned on asking her at. We went with our friends Amber and Shane. We were having a good time just walking around when we found this cool sand tunnels that kids must have made. These were huge with tunnels that went from all ditch to ditch for about 10 yards. Without even thinking I told Doan she should go crawling through. Being the crazy asian she is…she jumped down there and started trying to crawl through them. It was hilarious. So we jumped to the next ditch and this one she could totally fit in the tunnel. I’m not sure why, but I thought it would be funny if while she down there…I made the sand fall on her back and trapped her down there. ( it seemed brilliant in my head) Well I made the sand crash too early and it landed on her face covering her whole head. I FREAKED! I was so scared, I jumped down there and started dig out around her face so she could breathe. Amber and Shane freaked and started digging her out from the back. We finally got her out. She was so scared and I felt like shit. It was the worse feeling I’d ever had in my life. And on the beach I wanted to ask her to marry me on no doubt.

Everything calmed down and we started home. I asked her if it would be okay if we had a picnic at that beach tomorrow. I told her I didn’t want everytime I think about my favorite beach, that I think about the time I almost killed my girlfriend. She agreed and I knew tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of my life.

We woke up early the next day (February 23rd 2007) and headed for Kailua. We stopped at the Kalapawai Market and got some food for our picnic. It was still pretty early when we got to lanakai, which means that it was basically a beach all to ourselves. We found a little cove at the end of the beach that was almost covered so we were all to ourselves.

We ate our food and then decided to just lay down and cuddle. We were laying there watching the waves, and I knew it was time to ask. So I whispered in her ear “Stand up baby”. She replied with “Why would I stand up, I don’t want to stand up, I’m perfectly fine laying here” I realized then this wasn’t going to be easy and as planned. So we layed there a bit more and I kissed her neck, and whispered in her ear “Doan……will you marry me” she replied jokingly with “Where’s my ring” I looked at her eyes, smiled, and said “It’s in my pocket”. I asked her again to stand up and this time she finally did. She started to freak out a bit, and I pulled the ring out. I said “Doan Chung…will you marry me” There was a long pause, and as soon as I started to get worried she finally said “Yes”. We hugged, kissed, cried, and laid back down holding each other on what will forever be OUR BEACH.

We took some pictures and even took a picture of the house that we were in front of. The people were coming out of the house and probably thought we were crazy. That or going to kill them. Either way it was funny. We spent the next few days in paradise, deciding that we were going to move back and be married in hawaii. So I’m writing this not on the day I asked her to marry me. But the day that I gave my 2 weeks notice to my job. So in 2 weeks on Friday the 13th I’ll be flying back to hawaii to enjoy paradise with my new fiance. I’d normally say wish me luck, but like I said earlier. I’m not worried about me and Doan. We were meant for each other.

The end.

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Click here to view the embedded video.

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I have the same feelings about the military. I mean I’m glad there are people out there that want to go out there and protect america, but I’m not a fan of the military government. I feel that they’re just like politicians. They just tell you what you need to hear so you’ll join their team. Lots of promises.

Well I just saw this video that made me feel that I’ve made the right decisions, and that my personal beliefs are now shared by a lot of people that have actually been in the military. It’s worth a watch.

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As most of you know my life has been taken over by a used to be french fry factory that me and Doan are trying to turn into a Spa. It’s been a ton of work cause of all the graffiti and random things broken that we’ve found throughout the building. But it’s still been fun. It’s crazy to look at where we’ve come from and see where we are now. But about a week or so ago Ruthorama started putting some comments on my photos telling me how she used to party at my place before I moved in.

Apparently it was a cool punk rock club/bar type thing. I mean all the landlord told us was that they never paid the rent so I had this whole other picture in my head. But anywy ruthorama sent me some links to photos of events and things going on in my building. I now totally understand why i’m cleaning up so much shit. I mean the place looks like a cool as club and I’m sure there were some bad ass shows here.

The craziest thing though was that the first link she sent me was the french fry factory’s fucking myspace profile. My fucking house has a Myspace Profile…what the fuck is up with that. Well I just thought I’d share some of these photos I found from her links and just doing random searches on flickr.

The Building

Club Scene @ the French Fry Factory

What I moved into

French Fry Factory turned Spa

Update: The French Fry Factory also has a

Friendster Profile. Jesus my fucking house has more friends than me. thanks bea.

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I admit I can be pretty cocky when it comes to playing pool. And it has gotten me into trouble before, but never like it did last night. So we’re playing a game of nine ball and Doan makes one of her I get whatever I want if I win bets. For some reason I agree. I’m whooping her ass and go to shoot the nine in the side. The nine falls nicely in the side, but the cue ball just keeps going…going…going…until it too falls nicely into the corner pocket. It was horrible.

I’ve never seen Doan so happy. She quickly ran to the guest bedroom where she gets ready in the mornings, and I hear all this ruffling. She comes back 5 minutes later and I’m on the couch watching tv. She scoots me over and says aight “I’m going to put makeup on you” At first I resist, but I did lose a bet. So whatever. She goes to town on me as I watch my favorite hawaiian classic…Blue Crush.

20 minutes go by and she’s like you’re ready. But first…I have to take pictures. I was like hell no. I have to see it first. So i go into the bathroom only to find myself looking like a really bad drag queen. I mean really bad. It was funny as hell though, so I decide I need to whore-ize Doan too. So we’ll match of course.

At first I have in mind to do something really cool and artsy…all hip model esque and shit. Then I start applying all this random shit to her face. The more I see her looking like a crackhead whore who wants to suck dick for crack, the more fun it becomes. I’m adding glitter, drawing massive lips that go to her ears, just totally fucking her up. It was awesome.

So once we see how glorious we both look. We start taking photos. It’s crazy cause as random as we looked, the photos are looking really cool. The lighting was right, the camera was good, and all the stars were aligned. We had a good 2 hour photoshoot, before the whore-ization started getting us all hot. I can’t tell you what happen after that, but It was a whore-ized night I’ll never forget.

goodtimes

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It’s like christmas, father’s day, thanksgiving all the holidays that my dad gets something has come really early this year. Well except for father’s day cause that’s this weekend…but anyway. This year has been something special for my dad. I’ve always felt like shit that he never got to do cool things cause he was always taking care of me. But this year seems to be his. So far he’s gone to the daytona 500, Carnival (in brazil), and now the NBA Finals.

Here’s how the story goes. My dad chills at Razoo’s all the time after work. It’s his spot and he knows all the bartenders, wait staff, and owner. It seemed like a normal day for him. He’s just sitting at the bar having a beer and in walks Mark Cuban…the owner of the Dallas Mavericks. Everyone starts crowding him asking for his autograph and pictures and all that shit…and my dad just stays cool and sips on his beer at the bar. The crowd dies down…and my dad asks his friend who works there if she’d take his phone over to him and ask for a picture so he could send it to me. She says sure and walks over there. “My friend was wondering if I could take your picture with his phone?” Mark Cuban says “Who’s your friend?” She points at my dad at the bar. Mark says go tell him to come on over. So my dad comes over there. They take a picture and shake hands and Mark starts to chat it up with my dad.

My dad is very much a charmer. He’s a really sweet guy that talks a lot…but he’s always overly nice. So obviously a probably drunk Mark Cuban starts to like my dad. Not like in a gay way…but in a cool new friend way. He looks at my dad and says. “I like you…you need to come to the game on sunday” He went on to tell my dad he’d have 2 seats in the will call waiting for him.

It was about 20 minutes after this that I get a call from my dad. He’s out of breathe and can barely talk…but is extremely excited. He tells me all about it and I swear I’ve never heard my dad this happy in my life. I mean I’ve seen and heard him happy but this was a whole other level that I don’t know that he’s ever had before. It almost made me cry he was so happy. I mean I do what I can for him but I couldn’t give him that. So he had two tickets in section 218 which were going for like 800 bucks a piece waiting for him. The mavs kicked ass that game so I know it had to be an amazing thing to watch. I’m just glad it happen to my dad.

He deserves it. Thanks Mark Cuban…you made my dad’s year.

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Today the movie “Day Without a Mexican” is suppose to come true. I mean it’s not going to. There are still mexicans at work, trying to make that money to pay their bills. But for A LOT they are not working today to continue the push for comprehensive reform of laws that would primarily affect migrants from Latin America.

I really hope it makes some small effect, but honestly don’t know that it will. People tend to just angry when it comes to something race related that involves protest. It’s sad really. Everyone thinks they’re better than somene else when really we’re all the same. Some have more money, some have more love, some are just alone, but we’re all the fucking same. The rich ass prick couldn’t live without his immigrant maid and that immigrant maid couldn’t feed her kids if it wasn’t for that prick that bitches that she doesn’t speak good enough english.

When I was about 15 I worked at a music store in Dallas called Musician’s Headquarters. There was this guy that worked there that I really couldn’t stand. We sold a lot of used equipment like guitars and accordians, and a lot of non english speaking mexicans would come in looking for a deal. Now the owner was the only one that spoke spanish out of the sales people. And everytime this guy would just get fucking furious that he lost another sale cause “they couldn’t speak english.” As they walked out the door he would start screaming “Why the fuck should I have to learn another language just to make a living in my own god damn country!” Well…you fuck head…the reason is that mexican’s make up the majority of texas population. And you actually don’t have to learn a god damn thing. But if you wanted to and actually did it…you’d improve yourself and your sales. It would just really piss me off…having to listen to it. And the fact that I am mexican and he was that much of a dick to say that around me…pissed me off even more.

I had that same feeling watching the news last night. After they talked about the protest and what it was for they showed all of this white women on radio shows bitching about how “We need more police and border patrol…none of this is going to do any good and even if it does we should stop it.” She went on to say that more than 15,000 mexicans try to make their way into “their” country and we just can’t have that we’re too crowded as it is.” Well Bitch…lets see…maybe you should stop having kids. Maybe we can be like china and only allow one child per family…maybe even kill the kids you have that go over your limit. Hmmmm…what other great ideas…stop those people from coming her…and let me keep making this country crowded. I’m rambling…but it was so annoying to listen to.

Sadly what was running through my mind was “Home of the free…” and how much bullshit this country is now. The land of opportunity can suck my balls, cause it’s the land of opportunity if you’re from this country or if you come in with money. At least in most people’s eyes.

Here’s a couple of letters written in to the Dallas Morning News bitching. I can almost make out the faces and upbringings of these people. They’re the same ones that tell their daughters if you ever date a black fellow I’ll kill you. Good peeps…check out what they got to say:

Buy whatever you can today …

I encourage all Americans to purchase whatever they can today. If the illegal immigrants want to see economic power, what message will they get if sales go up on the day of their boycott?

David Bohn, Dallas

… and stay home tomorrow

I agree that the 11 million illegal aliens should stay home today. Tomorrow, the 293 million American citizens should stay home. The economics of May 1: not much. They don’t pay taxes and they send all their money to Mexico. The economics of May 2: astounding. This should tell our ignorant politicians to deport illegal aliens and close our borders so the citizens of this great country can get on with our lives in peace, unity and the English language.

Lois Cossack, Lewisville

Hispanics can’t have it both ways

We’ve heard it a million times from Hispanic activists. Immigration reform unfairly targets all Hispanics. Most Hispanics aren’t illegal immigrants. It’s unfair, unethical, stereotypical to mix Hispanic and illegal in any discussion of race, culture or reform.

All of which is true.

Am I the only one, then, who appreciates the irony of those same activists calling for Hispanics to boycott buying or working today to protest immigration reform? Or, perhaps, is this a case of myopic hypocrisy?

Paul Lehmann, Mesquite

Anyway…just a rant about what’s going on. I hope it all makes a difference…and that maybe people can realize how much those immigrant workers they bitch about so much…make their lifes easier.

anyway…i’m done…

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So another dream of mine came true yesterday. I purchased and played on my first very own pool table. If you know me…you know I’m obsessed with pool. So obsessed that I have my own Pool Site.

Anyway…these aren’t great pictures or anything…just wanted everyone to see what a dream come true looks like to me. If you need to get ahold of me…I’ll be at home playing.

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So I just dropped chris off at the airport. We barely made it on time. It’s rainy as always…and it kinda sucks. It’s been really good having him here. I’m just happier and seem to have a great time no matter what’s going on when he’s around.

He had an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle…that he said went really well. But he hasn’t heard anything from them. If he gets the job he’ll be moving back and we’ll be tearing up a new city together. But even if he doesn’t get it I hope he moves down and tries to find something anyway.

It was fun to hear his loud ass snoring…his picture time…and Chris vomiting the night away again. Brings back the good ole days of sitting in new jersey eating mcdonalds and vomiting in the parking lot across the street from our house.

Not to mention that my dog loves sleeping in his suitcase…so I mean he should at least come back for Kola.

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So this week my best friend chris has made his way out to san francisco. He interviewed with the San Francisco Chronicle on tuesday and it went really well. Since he may end up moving here me and Doan tried to take him around.

Yesterday…we did the full house intro. We sang the full house theme song as we went over the golden gate bridge…went to sausilito…walked around took pictures…ate some pizza…went up on the mountains and took more pictures. It was a really good day. I took off yesterday cause the weather here normally sucks. It’s always grey and rainy…but for some reason since chris has been here it’s been perfect sunny skies.

So after the lights went down…we went to check out the local porn shop…which i have to say…was a nice let down. They have a sign out side that is as big as my building…but the actual store is the size of my small meat locker. Bastards. So we then went home and had a few cocktails and watch wedding crashers. Well…they did…i passed out on the couch. I’m a bitch these days.

Well…I hope he gets the job and me and Chris can tear up another city with drunken rediculousness. Then maybe I can convince Bea, Guav, and Jackie to bring their happy asses out here too.

Anyway…here’s a bunch of the photos we took

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So since this new building has been taking up so much of my life. I figured I’d give you guys an update on the progress. I personally think that we’re flying through this renovation. We’ve got some fresh paint on the upstairs living area. And as you can see in the photo it makes a dramatic difference in the space.

There’s still a ton of work for me to do in the spa area. I have to patch the walls and ceilings, paint all the rooms, get the carpet installed, and then I have to lay tile in the bathrooms. Sounds like a nice list, but I really have faith that I can get all this done by April 20th. And if not I’m gonna shoot for that anyway cause that’s when I want doan’s Spa to open.

Her spa is called Humble Way “massage your way to a healthy lifestyle” Basically it’s going to be a massage salon. 4 rooms with massage tables and a lobby for clients that are waiting. Nothing huge and fancy, but I think it’ll be great. She has a lot of friends in the industry and even if they don’t work there it’ll be a great space to rent out to other massage therapist.

Anyway…I’m excited with the progress. My dad flew in last weekend and helped me through a ton of stuff. I don’t know what I would have done without him. He’s a real bad ass. Fixes walls, runs electricity, pipes for water, was doing it all. And it all looks great. He really saved my ass. Thanks dad.

Well yeah…here are a ton of photos of before and after but not in that order so you’ll just have to go through them to see the space.

Photos of the Loft

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So if you know me…and if you read my blog…you probably do. You know that I love lofts. I used to live in a loft and it was the coolest place I’ve ever lived in my life. That is until now.

Something happen last night. My girl worked her magic and got an owner of an 8000 square foot two story building to rent the whole damn building to us for cheap as hell. So my Tom Hanks “Big” dreams are a reality. Obviously this is going to be a lot of work. As you can see it needs some work…but to me…this is awesome. I get to build, paint, and do whatever I want to an entire building. The plan is that Doan’s massage business will be run out of the top floor and we’ll live out of the bottom. The most important part of that is that I finally have room for a pool table. So actually this is 2 dreams come true.

Here are a couple of pics so you can tell me you think I’m nuts. But I’ll take more as soon as we get the keys. Oh and there will be a massive party very soon. Soon like March 24th for the Big Beau Bash that he doesn’t know about. Well he didn’t tell he read this. His birthday is the 22nd but just like mine wednesdays suck for parties. So friday…mark your calendar. And if you live in a different state buy your plane ticket.

Here’s the place as it sits.

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So my really good friend…Amber…got engaged this weekend. You can read all about it here. It’s really great. The really do have a love at first sight story. Allow me to break it down for you in 10 seconds. Meet at bar….Drink at bar…Puke in bar…Makeout. The end. Been together ever since. I love them.

Anyway along with that great news…I got some of my own. Last night I was telling Doan about Amber and Tyler…oh yeah…that’s their names. Sorry…forgot to add that. Anyway…I was telling her all about it and she jumps up and says Oh yeah! I have something for you. I was like ummm okay. So I followed her into the room. She pulls out this little pink asian zipper bag. I blink and when I open up my eyes…she’s down on one knee. I was like WTF? And she goes “Ray…will you be my…(hands me the ring)….MY LIFELONG SCREW?”

I about shit myself I was laughing so hard. It was so awesome. My girl really is as random as I am. I took some pictures so you guys can see.

I love random love stories.

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So it’s here again. Today is my birthday and I have to say I’m not at all excited. I’m getting older and those things that used to make me happy don’t really happen anymore. If you read last year’s birthday post you know that my grandma didn’t call me for the first time in my life and sing me happy birthday. And today…I haven’t gotten a call. :( So it’s now officially official…I’m too old for grandma to sing to. Blah.

Last night me and doan were talking and she asked me what my favorite birthday moment was. I honestly had no idea. I sat there trying to think of something and was seriously lost. I mean when I was a kid February 15th meant the first day that your baseball team was legally allowed to practice. It also meant Daytona 500. So me and my dad would go to baseball practice…then he’d watch the race. Goodtimes. After that it’s hard to remember birthdays. Last year was nuts with the wreck…but the year before that I have no idea. I think I was in hawaii but it’s slipped my mind.

Anyway…I decided since it’s been a long time since the last happy dappy. I’d do a high fidelity version of my top 5. Here’s Top 5 Movies that made me happy when I was a kid:

The Boy Who Could Fly

This movie is and was really stupid…but it gave hope that some people you think are retards…have special powers. That and there’s a scene were Fred Savage shoots piss out of a water gun at the local bully. My dad got some piss in his eye from my rambo gun after I saw that.

The Never Ending Story

I would just get hooked on this movie. I think any movie with a flying dog…just fucking grabs you and wont let go.

American Ninja (1 through…they may still be making these)

I loved ninjas. Still do. But this was the first movie I saw ninjas on ninjas. The ninja motorcycle that is. So obviously it started my obsession with crotch rockets as well.

Commando

Arnold at his best. Not to mention Alyssa Milano was hot. I was a kid too so shut up. Just a great blow shit up movie.

Cobra

Stallone looks like one tough moflocka in this flick. I think the thing I loved most about this movie was his car. It was so sick. And a custom gun with a cobra on it. Classic.

La Bamba

This is the first movie I ever saw in a theatre. And after I saw it at the theatre I went on to watch it everyday til i was 12. I can still quote it for you if you’d like.

That may be my top five…but there is no way I could leave out the holy grail of make me happy when i’m a kid movies. Motha Fuckin Karate Kid! Nuff Said.

There you have it. Top 5/6 Movies of my childhood. Happy Berfday to me.

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So this weekend was pretty good. Friday we had a company outing. We all went to Sanoma to check out this winery. One of the guys in our company knows the owner or something so we got a lil special treatment. Rather than getting one taste of the 6 wines on the list. We got to try as much of whatever as we wanted from all the wines. Keep in mind this tour started at 2pm. So by 4:30 I am about to pass out. I’m tired as hell…feel myself getting drunk off my ass. So I actually ask them for some water. Sad huh?

So yeah I got home around 6 and I went to bed. Literally. I got my dawgy…got under the covers and passed out. I missed out cause I was suppose to go out with Marissa and her man. It was his birthday and when I checked my messages the next day…Marissa sounded toasted…so I know I missed out on a good time. Blah.

Saturday was a good day. Woke up pretty early. Which is normal I guess since I went to bed at like 7pm the day before. So yeah…went down to red door and had this awesome breakfast/lunch. This crazy breakfast quesidilla with chicken. It was delicious. Then went home and started packing. Which brings us to the weird part of the entry. So a lil back story. I’ve been dating Doan now for about 6 months. And we decided that I was going to move into her place feb 1st to get out of my current living situation. And then after that we’d look at finding something closer to the city but still a middle ground for her to get back to where she needs to go. Oh and the weird part. She’s in China. And has been since January 4th…with her family. So yeah. We’ll come back to this.

So yeah saturday night me and Beau went to see G love and the special sauce. They were awesome. I’d never seen them live so it was good to see some good live music again. I miss those gypsy nights in dallas. Thanks bea. But yeah the guy that opened for G love was called “That One Guy”. He was crazy. He played some crazy pipe with strings and buttons…and made all of these awesome beats and sounds. It was like a crazy techno show with one guy beating on a pipe. Crazy shit…you gotta check him out.

Sunday comes around. Moving day. Yeah! Not really. So I get everything packed up and ready to go. Go get the rental car. Beau helps me load everything in there. Me and Kola get in the car and head to motha fuckin vacaville. Again…Yeah. So the drive there isn’t bad at all. I actually liked it. It felt good to drive again. And there wasn’t much traffic at all.

It’s when I get to her place that I realize something. I have a whole SUV full of shit. And she lives on the second floor. So an hour and a broken back later. I’m in there. It’s a big ass pile of boxes and clothes…but it’s in there. I rest for a bit and then sort out all my shit. Clothes in the closet…shit in the shit place…all that stuff. So…I’m moved in.

As I was finished with my move my mind started going a hundred miles an hour. For one I know it’s weird that we’ve only been dating for 6 months and we’re already moving into together. Two I know it’s weird for me to be moving into her place when she’s not even in the country. But this is what I want. And before she left…she said that’s what she wanted. It’s just hard because your mind automatically makes your current situation seem like previous ones.

And you probably know that most of my previous relationships didn’t work out the way I planned. I feel like I’m way too trusting. I get it from my dad. But if you tell me something…I actually believe it. And I’ll do anything for you when you say the right thing. It’s just then that I normally get burnt. So yeah…that’s what’s going through my head right now. I guess I’m just waiting for someone to take my trust…and actually cherish it.

It’s funny though. When I told my mom I was leaving hawaii and heading to San Francisco. Her reply was. “I think that’s good…you’re going to meet the woman of your dreams there.” So let’s hope she was right.

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So I was riding the bus home last night and I sat behind this probably 18 year old dude on the phone. He was looking a lil thuggish mainly because he had on a big black coat with scarface’s face on the back. It got me thinking about how I really don’t understand the phenomenom behind Tony Montana.

I’m mean I’m not a fucking retard. I get that he was poor, then got into drugs, then became all rich and powerful. BUT THEN HE FUCKING DIES!!!! I mean do you guys fucking forget that. He’s so cool…he’s such a badass…but then he gets fucking killed. Jesus…get that through your head.

I know living in the ghetto and you see the drug dealer drive by in his phat caddilac. You start dreaming about having a car like that, with bitches all around, and whatever else the rap video says you need to be happy. I mean I was/am a dreamer too. I want all that shit. I still want the dream. But I’ve started realizing there are people out there that go through that rags to riches dream. But they don’t get fucking killed at the end. Or at least they haven’t been killed yet. And that’s good enough for me. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Oprah, Jewel, 50 cent, (now that I’m thinking of a list…these are all pretty blah but whatever) fuck there are a million still alive and kickin.

I don’t really know what this about. It just got me thinking about every cribs episode and all the guys on the bus. I just didn’t get why they’re all about SCARFACE. He does shoot a big gun. That’s about all I look up to him for. So yeah…ignore me. I just felt like talking about more random shit. And I guess I don’t think scarface is cool. So there…I said it.

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So I was at the gym last night. I was doing some shit…I think I was doing triceps when I noticed a Father and Son running on the treadmill. Seems really nice to me. A father and a son working out together. Made me start thinking about how I want a kid and all that jazz.

I’ve always wanted to be a young dad. My dad had me at 19, and I’m not saying that was a good thing. Cause I know it made it a lot harder, but one thing that came from it was how I learned from watching my dad. Like my dad didn’t tell me stories about when he played baseball. I watched him play. I learned how by practicing with him while he was getting ready for games.

I never wanted to be that dad that is too old to go out and play catch. Or hit ground balls to him and his friends. Anyway…that’s kinda besides the point. So at the gym last night. There was that father and son. After they got off the treadmill the dad goes for a drink of water and the sun starts lifting some weights on a machine.

The father comes back with this disgusted look on his face. And just starts going off on his son. “DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA PLAY BALL IN HIGHSCHOOL DOING PUSSY LIFTING LIKE THAT!!!! COME ON PICK IT UP!!!!” All of a sudden I was like WTF? I mean I want a son. And I want my son to be a bad ass athlete. I think I can teach him a lot. But come on man…there’s no fucking need to treat your kid like shit like that.

It made me really rethink my parental plan. I mean I wanted to push my kid…not like that of course. But still…I wanted to practice a lot and all that jazz. Just watching that made me want to just chill back and let whatever happens to my kid happen. I would rather they suck at sports and have no friends. Than for me to ever yell at my kid like this guy did.

Random I know…but what blog of mine isn’t.

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I know it’s been forever since I wrote anything…and i’ll do my best to make up for it…but I have to write about last night. Last night i did probably the weirdest thing i’ve ever done with my friends. And that’s saying a lot cause me and chris have done things that would make a nun piss on herself. That sounded really gay now that i read what i wrote…but that’s not how i meant it. Umm…example of crazy things me and chris have done…ummm…we once got so drunk that we fell asleep next to a homeless person in a train station. Then we woke up…got on the train…and then fell asleep on the train. Then we ended up at the end of the line…which is called the train yard. And then had to sleep there like homeless people til 7am when the trains started again. But anyway…that was just for the we’re not gay thing.

So last night…Me, Dom, and cracka Beau go down to haight. We are embarking on an adventure to Red Vic’s Theatre. And to see what you might ask. Well Porn I must tell you…Porn. But not just any porn. Oh no. 3D motha fuckin porn. Dat’s right sucka. Cocks and tits were flying off the screen…trying to slap us in the face. It was crazy. Seriously one of the weirdest things i’ve ever done in my life.

I mean just watching porn with friends is weird enough…but to watch 3d porn with friends at an actual theatre is fucking nuts. At least for me anyway. After that to be normal again…we just went to a bar and got drunk. Same ole Same ole.

Anyway…good times. And the greatest quote from a porn…or from anywhere for that matter. “You are like a pimple on the asshole of life.” Doesn’t that make you just feel all warm inside?

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So friday night…doan decides she wants to take me somewhere i’ve never been before. She’s planned for weeks now to take me to a comedy club called punchline, but neither of us have had the time to do it. Before i get out of work she gives me a call and tells me that she’s made reservations and tonight’s the night.

After an interesting bus ride home. i get off the bus and head to the parking garage where doan is waiting. I get there and i see her and her little dog kola wearing a little green knit sweater. It’s adorable. Kola i have to say is the only chihuahua i’ve ever liked. My aunt and my cousin both have them and they just yelp and are so protective that it’s annoying. But he spent the night at my house before and was very well trained. Way too damn spoiled…but still a great dog.

Anyway…we get kola to the house…and by this time i’m starving. We head down to where the comedy club is thinking that there should be plenty of places to eat. We find this fancy mall with a bunch of restaurants on the top floor. Chevy’s, Tony Romas, some indian joint, and then this irish pub bistro thing. I checked the menu on the pub and it sounded really good. The place was really nice. Hardwood everywhere with a good feel to it. But i should have known from the beginning.

We walk through the door…and instead of being greeted by a host. We’re greeted with a sign that says seat yourself. I look around and see a bunch of rich lookin white folk. So i figure this place still has to be decent. So we sit order a couple glasses of wine. I have a chicken pasta…and she gets a organic salad with apples. The wine was pretty good…but when the food came i had to say…i was disgusted.

As soon as she sat the plate down…i knew i wasn’t eating that shit. The grilled chicken strips on top of the past looked pretty good…but if you can imagine porage…like nasty clumpy pale sauce. Actually it wasn’t sauce…it was already at that thick one piece of liquid mold wrapped in pasta noodles. It was gross as fuck. I didn’t eat it. Just had some bread and my wine.

So we have a conversation about how i can’t complain. And i’ll end up just getting some food later if i’m hungry. I don’t want to bitch and then sit around for something else.

Blah.

So we still have an hour to kill before the show…so we walk to block looking for a place to get warm and have a drink. There is a Hyatt across the street. Now this kinda freaked me out. The Hyatt in texas isn’t anything special…but this hyatt was spladoww! It was dark wood…soft seats…high end shit. We walked up to the bar and are greated by 3…dats right 3 bartenders. 2 women in suits and a bartender in a old school bartender/barber outfit. We get some wine and chill by the window in a gorgeous candle lit setting.

So 2 thumbs up for the Hyatt in san francisco. Fucking pimp. I want to stay there just for the hell of it. So an hour goes by and we head to the show. There’s a nice line at the place when we get there…and it’s pretty damn cold. We’re standing outside in line for a good hour when they finally start letting people in.

We have a seat and i’m a lil worried. They sit us in the front row…but on the side of the stage. It was next to the steps up to the stage so i’m already thinking the comedian was going to walk down the steps and come straight to us and start talking shit.

The host came out. He was a weird white skinny nerdy lookin dude and i dont’ remember his name. He kept making gangsta jokes…that weren’t funny but that just seemed weird coming from this little white guy with converse on.

The next guy comes out and is older mexican dude. He cracked a bunch of mexican jokes and it was pretty funny…but nothing special. Finally the main guy gets on stage and not soon enough. I’m starting to get tired cause it’s not that interesting. But this guy…was funny as fuck. A half mexican…so he was cracking jokes that probably only i got…but everyone was dyin. Doan was falling out of her chair he was so good.

He wasn’t on stage for more than 30 minutes when a light flashed. He looked up…like what the fuck…why are you flashing me…i’m the headliner. He’s like “Did i just see get off the stage and wrap it up light go off???” And someone screams Special Guest. Everybody is like what the fuck. He makes a crack like. Well i guess my show is over..cause someone’s here. And umm…their special. Oh and they’re a guest. So umm…bye.

I turn around since we’re right next to where you walk up to the stage and i see this white guy. I’m like who the fuck is this…that guy was funny. Fuck…i thought to myself. I’m ready to go home. The dorky host goes back up on stage and says “Ladies and gentlemen…it’s my pleasure to introduce Mr. Dave Chapelle.”

HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! Dave Chapelle comes running up the stage…and everyone just stands up and starts freaking out. It was fucking awesome. I was like what the fuck. I was ready to leave…and bam…suddenly Dave Fucking Chapelle is up on stage in front of me. I pull out my camera and start trying to get a good shot. I got 2 blurry ones…and then the security comes running over to me telling me to put up my camera. I’m like…umm…it’s a comedy club not a fucking concert. I can’t take fucking picture. I’m still happy that Dave Chapelle is saying I’m Rick James Bitch! in front of me.

It was nuts…cause Dave has a lot of drama going on right now. He passed up 51 million dollars to do another season of his show on comedy central…and just said fuck it and went to Africa. Apparently…he just got off the plane back from Africa…and drove straight to the comedy club. He looked tired as hell…and really didn’t have any material. He was just standing up there talking…and being random…but still fucking funny. He seemed really sad actually. There was a newspaper that wrote an article saying he was a coke head and did all these drugs. And he said something like “Man…that’s a real newspaper. And they’re talking shit about me…and people are really going to believe it. I don’t even smoke weed anymore…and the whole world thinks i’m a crack head.”

It was sad. He went on and on and on. I mean he had to be up there for over an hour and half…and just rambling. He started smoking…and if you don’t know…you can’t do that in california. But like they were going to tell him he couldn’t. He went through 4 cigarettes…and a beer. Before he finally said “Well people are leaving…so either i’ve been up here for way too damn long…or i fucking suck. Either way. I’m outta here.”

How fucking cool is that. Here’s a photo i took before security tried to tackle me. It’s blurry as fuck…but it’s him.

I’m Rick James Bitch.

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So last night was halloween. I wasn’t pumped whatsoever. I mean being in san francisco there isn’t a walmart on every corner…like there is in texas. So getting shit for your costume takes a lot more effort. Which i just didn’t have. I planned on being dora the explorer since she teaches the kinda spanish i actually know. Hola…Come esta…Gracias…that’s pretty much the list. Ah well. I think i know more japanese than i actually know spanish. sad huh?

Anyway…so my friend nate calls me up wondering if we’re going down to castro tonight. We are so he says he’ll drive us if we want. Cool. Everyone of my friends that are from here aren’t going. They all said the exact same thing. “Oh i’ve been before. You have to go see it…but i don’t want to go.” I should have known it had to be something strange if people that live here don’t want to partake in this event.

I assumed it was the gay thing. That they had issues with watching guys make out and going down on each other and all that jazz which i just figured would be all over the place. Since that’s the only stories i had heard about castro on halloween. So anyway…we get picked up…and we drive around for about 45 minutes looking for a place to park. No dice. So we drive back to nate’s…he parks his car…and we wait for a bus. We wait for about 30 minutes…no bus. So we all hop in a cab and we’re off.

So the cab driver drops us off at some fence in the middle of the street and says “Have good party yeah.” So we start following all of the slutty nurses and bloody monsters down the street. There are quiet a few people…but i’m still thinking to myself…this is it? WTF. there are more people in dallas partying. Then we get to the strip. HOLY FUCK.

This is when i nearly shit myself. There were so many damn people. And it didn’t matter which street you were heading down around castro…it looked just liked this. Thousands of drunk slutty women and men dressed up in some of the craziest costumes ever. It was cool. But…

But…then it got weird. I watched a guy throw a medium sized bottle of jack into a massive crowd on the street and run off. Luckily it didn’t hit anyone. But then about 10 minutes later…there are cops running after some guys down the street. And i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a thousand man crowd…and then people start running…it’s pretty fucking scary. It calmed down a little…but that’s when boyz in the hood showed up.

There were these groups of raiders jackets and dark sun glasses mixed in with all of the pink and furry costumes. It was weird. I know it’s cali and oakland is down the street…but you know…and i know…that oakland jackets…and attire are ghetto as fuck. it just is.

So about then it wasn’t fun anymore. We were getting pushed around by the people that think if you push through the line…it’ll end sooner. yeah those jackasses. So we’re getting pushed around…and we have no idea where we are. All i had in my head was a vision of that fucker throwing the jack bottle. So I’m checking behind me and in the air every few minutes. Not very fun.

I mean we weren’t dressed up…we were just checking it out. And there was no way to get into any bars. And we didn’t know it. But we should have brought our own drinks. So yeah. It sucked.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the creative costumes…and there were some awesome ones out there. So that part of it was fucking cool. And just the pure amount of people was awesome. But…i have to say i wasn’t the biggest fan of the castro halloween. I didn’t even take very many pictures…and you know i’m a picture takin whore.

So yeah…no more boyz in the hood castro fun for me. I’ll watch it on the news next year.

“We’re not hosting an intergallactic kegger…”

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So this weekend started off pretty crap. I planned on going out Friday night. We left the office around 8pm…got home around 9pm…and unfortunately by 9:30pm I had already fallen asleep. Sad huh? I’m getting old. I heard I missed out on a great night at the tavern.

Saturday…woke up and had some red door cafe breakfast as always. Amet…the owner of the cafe…was wearing his milk maid costume with 4 inch heels…and had to stand about 7 foot tall. It was creepy, funny, and normal all at the same time. Alisha walked up as I was eating, and I decided that we were all going thrift shopping.

So we finish eating…shower up…and head to the goodwill. Now in texas…the goodwill is fucking expensive as far as thrift shopping goes. But here it wasn’t too shabby. I got like 5 tshirts and they were all 99cents. It was then that I made up a nice little game for me and beau. Oh…this was the australian’s first thrift store experience so we had to make it fun. Basically…I told him to pick out any shirt in my size that I had to wear monday morning. And I’d do the same to him. And the only rule is…regardless the color or what it said…you had to wear it.

So here’s what I got for Beau:

I don’t know if you know this…but i hate politics. The only thing Political i can read is Guav’s journal cause of the way he makes fun of the seriousness behind it. So to go with my hatred of politics. Beau got me this one:

So we get home around 4pm from shopping. Watch last weeks Alias…and before we know it…it’s 7pm. I head to the bar…and start playing pool. Beau shows up about 10 minutes later. And I don’t know why…but i had a corona and a shot of patrone there waiting for him. I told Doan i wouldn’t be hung over for our date on sunday…but…i was going to be.

Corona…Patrone…Corona Patrone…Corona…Patrone…Corona Patrone…Corona…Patrone…Corona Patrone…You get the pattern? So when 11 oclock rolls around. We are fucking hammered. And this is when Dom shows up. They go to another bar…I keep drinking. They go home….I keep drinking. That is until around 1am when I decided it was time to go.

I stumbled my way to my room…and instantly passed out on my bed. I woke up around 8am…with the worst fucking headache ever. It sucked cause Doan had told me she was going to come really early so we could have the whole day. Well I got up and went to get some breakfast. She called and said she wouldn’t be here til around noon. She said “I knew you’d be hungover..even though you said you wouldn’t…so I gave you some recovery time” How sweet is she?

rediculous.

So Doan comes and gets me and our date begins. We’ve been talking for a few months now…and this was our first actual date. So I wanted to do something fun that neither of us had done. So we head to the Palace of Fine Arts. If you’ve been there you know…it’s a huge fucking dome thing. that you can see from anywhere. At least that’s what i was hoping for. Cause we got lost. Ended up just going over the golden gate bridge and having lunch in Sausilito. It was nice. We had some thai food…and I actually handled the fish sauce. We had some Thai ice tea to go with it. i was really craving like really cold lipton ice tea or something…and what they gave us tasted like tea with 12 globs of ice cream in it. It was way too sweet so i just drank water.

After lunch we went for a walk on the dock and talked about wether she should keep the boat she has or not. Then we hopped in the car…determined to find the damn palace of fine arts fucker. We get over the bridge and she takes the first exit. As she’s exiting I see it. But of course it’s the opposite direection. So we finally find it. Park in a park across the street and go in.

It’s gorgeous…this crazy structure of columns and a dome in the middle of a city. You felt like you were in Greece or something. At least until you see all of the fences and construction trucks around the edges. But it was cool none the less.

They also have and Exploratorium…which is like the Science Place that we have back in texas. Actually i think ours is better…but whatever. We act like little kids and play with all the little experiments and it’s awesome. Doan has no patience whatsoever. The ones that you’re suppose to turn the knobs one way…then wait..and then turn it another way…to see the change and reaction. She couldn’t handle. She’d turn the knob all the way…look at me like…wtf…do something…and then as it would start she’d turn the knob the other way. Then get up…and go that’s stupid.

I was cracking up. I loved it.

A couple of hours later we walk to the park across the street and have a nice walk along the bay. It was gorgeous. You could see the golden gate in the background. Everyone was out rollerblading, riding their bike, or just having wine as the sun went down. It was weird. I felt really grown up. Like those diamond commercials with the old couples in the park. What last longer than a diamond or some shit. yeah that.

After that…we went to see the Corpse Bride. I was really disappointed. Not that it wasn’t good…cause it was. It was just no where even close to as good as Nightmare Before Christmas. No where near. Good try though.

So after a very long day we head home. About then I have my first want for an inhaler. I can’t breathe. It sucked. I thought i was getting a cold. But I think something might be wrong. So I’m gonna go to the doctor this week and see what’s goin down.

But dats it

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If you’ve read some of my other blogs…you know that there was a time when me and bea didn’t talk. And after 3 years I found her again. Well not only did that make mine and bea’s friendship that much stronger, but I also met Jackie…Bea’s wife. And she just became my lady. I can’t say wife…bea would slit my throat. But yeah…me and jackie hit it off like we were best friends forever.

When I moved back from my first stay in hawaii. I was staying with my parents…and was jobless. I had a nice check coming from the company I left…but the way i go out. It didn’t last long. On top of that…this was when my parents decided to drop on me that they were getting a divorce. I couldn’t take that. Seeing my mom sleep on the couch…and then the futon in the computer room. It was killing me. So I was going out a lot more and getting really depressed.

But Jack was always good about getting me so drunk that I forgot my name. And if you don’t know your name…then you don’t remember all the bad shit around you.

I eventually moved in with Jackie and Michelle in their house on lower greenville. It was great. Those are the types of women I like living with. I don’t mean sexual. I mean we had a nice house…it was always clean. But we partied a lot. I mean we were the before and after party to a whole strip of bars. It was rediculous and perfect all at the same time.

And “Rediculous and perfect” is the only way you can describe jackie. She moved to Dallas not really knowing anyone. And by the time i met her it was like she grew up there her whole life. I mean we couldn’t go anywhere without her knowing someone or someone running up to her saying hey jack. and then her looking at me going “I have no idea who this is.” But we’d go to any bar…and the bartenders would hook us up…just cause we were with her.

After about a month though…I really started to notice something. Not only do people love her…but people love trying to be like her. Jackie is one of those people that come up with her own things. Her own words…her own poses…her own pimp walk or something like that. And after awhile you start to notice that everyone around her is doing it…or saying it…or just being a mini jack. It’s crazy.

I know this is a random lil rant. But she called me last night and we talked a bit. And i brought that up…and this morning…as hung over as i am…i was still thinking about it. So i had to write about it.

Jack. You fucking rule shit baby. And it is your world.

And you’re pretty. So there. I love you.

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So I’m exhausted from a nice 4 day excursion that took place in upstate new york. I flew in to witness one of my best friends in the world…Bea Talplacido…and her man…Justin Gauvin…take eachother’s hand and become “The Gauvin’s”.

They were married at Robert Treman State Park in Ithaca, New York. The trees were a perfect blend of orange, green, and yellow. It was a bit damp, but after moving the wedding from outside to inside. It became perfection. There were hundreds of candles lit all around the space, a arch in the middle full of flowers, and a nicely lit state park for a backdrop.

Sitting in the white fold out wooden chairs sat, on one side the TalPlacido filipino clan, and on the other all of Guav’s tattooed friends. I loved it. It was the greatest combination at a wedding ever. Everyone was happy and smiling. It started with Lyric…the ring bearer…and Chloe…the flower girl coming in. Chloe grabbed a handful of flowers and chunks them toward Lyric. Everyone laughs…when DJ’s son…Elijah yells: “Everybody be quiet!” in the cutest little kid voice ever.

This followed with the beautiful bride making her entrance to the sounds of Sim Redmond playing Solitude in You. It was perfect. Bea’s dad gave her away…and as he did he told the judge “This is my baby” just before he started to cry. I have to admit…watching him grab a napkin to wipe the tears…got a waterfall flowing from my eyes.

The ceremony continued. And once they kissed…I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so big. It was one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever had. After that we all walked outside to take about a million photos of the beautiful bride and her man. But that was cut short for some of us. Cause we had to put up all the chairs and get the place set up like it was so we could head to the boat for the party.

Dats right…I said boat. About 90 of us boarding this 2 level boat. Mostly it was Bea’s family and Guav’s friends downstairs…and all of Bea’s friends upstairs…where the bar was. It was freaking cold as hell up there…but tequila keeps you warm. It was a good time. We were all taking photos and drinking…and just having a great time. Bea and Guav did this really cool thing where they took polaroids of everyone there and made them sign it for a wedding scrap book.

So I have to say something about the cake. Now the cake. Scared me. It was green and very solid looking. It was a vegan cake since Guav and a lot of his friends are vegan and straight edge. But I couldn’t not have some of their wedding cake. I slowly brought the fork to my mouth…and was met with a very nice surprise.

The chocolate actually tasted like chocolate :) It was really freaking good. So yeah…vegans can do some crazy things in the kitchen. Ummmmm…what else.

Well after the reception on the boat that wasn’t enough for us. So we found the closest bar we could find that was open on a sunday. It’s Ithaca…nothing is open. That is except for one bar. The Haunt. And it just so happen that it was goth night. So there’s about 15 of us all in suits and Bea in her wedding dress. And then there’s about 30 Goth Kids in black leather outfits and the DJ was spinning some crazy death metal techno that was actually pretty fucking sweet.

About a 11 or so Bea asks me if I’ll drive her and Guav back to the bed and breakfast cause they’re tired. So we hop in the car and drive for about 20 minutes to their place. I leave them and oh. We were driving around this Chrysler 300 all weekend. And it has this crazy navigation system in it. The female voice would let us know how to get anywhere we were headed. She was named Diane by Bea and Jackie. So anyway. I drop them off and put in “the haunt” into diane’s system and she finds one. So I click it and I’m on my marry way back to the bar.

I’m driving for a good 30 minutes when I look over and see that on diane’s screen it says 249 miles remaining. I’m like WTF why would it say that. And at the same time…I’m noticing this car on my ass. I’m trying to figure out the nav…so I pull off on the side of the road. As I pull over…I notice that it was a State Trooper that was on my ass that luckily drove on right by me. That was close cause I’m sure my breathe still smelled a bit like tequila. Anyway I look at the nav and it has me heading to Pennsylvania. That was close. If I had been a bit drunker I may have just went the whole way.

So I look up the haunt again on diane. And it finds it in Ithaca this time. So 10 minutes later I’m back. I’m not really feeling like drinking at this point…since the trooper had scared the shit out of me. So we all decide to get some grub.

We end up at this ghetto diner that some Goth chick told us about. I was starved and was pleased to see that they had a cheeseburger with egg. Which Beau had raved about for so long and once I finally tried it I agreed. The funny thing is…at this dinner that is called a “BoBurger” I thought it was funny anyway. So we all order and for some reason when we’re all drunk. All we do is talk about sex. And when we’re drunk all we do is talk…REALLY LOUD!

So we’re talking about turning on the lightbulb and all kinds of stuff that you don’t normally talk about at a diner. When the waitress comes over says “Can you keep it down…there are kids in here.” And instead of us going “Oh i’m sorry” we reply with “It’s 4 0-clock in the morning…what the fuck are kids doing up and in here?” We’re nice like that I guess.

So we eat. Head home…and instantly we all just pass out. I wake up around 9:30…and for some reason I have in my head that everyone has around the same flight times. And since no one else is up…it must not be time to get up yet. So I roll back over and go back to sleep. I wake up a couple of hours later to only realize that I totally missed my flight.

Jackie, Bea, and Guav are about to leave to drive back to NYC and Jack says why don’t you just ride back with us…you should easily be able to get a flight from NYC to San Fran. Sounds like a good idea to me. So I beat on the bathroom door where Chris is showering…so I could tell him bye. He comes out…soaking wet wearing only a white towel. He gives Jackie a hug and kiss. Then he turns…looks at me…and just slaps me across the face. Like a…I”m challenging you to a duel…slap. Not to mention that he was soaked so not only did he slap me but it was a wet ass slap. So after this slap he just turns around…goes back into the bathroom…and shuts the door.

We’re all kinda looking around…like…did that just happen.

So me and jack head to go pick up the new couple. We get them. And start our road trip. And it’s funny…cause the movie Road Trip is actually set in Ithaca. Funny to me I guess. So we head down the road. And I’m kinda blown away. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Makes me think of hawaii a bit actually. With Mountain-esque hills with trees all the way up. But the trees with the most vibrant oranges and yellows mixed with a not yet fall green. It was breath taking.

So we drive for a couple of hours. When we stop in this small town for some food. The plays has yankees crap everywhere. And when we walk in we’re greated with a nice set of about 12 old people eyes looking at us with that “What are you doing in here boy” look. We don’t care. We sit down…and the guy comes over with 2 menus. Bea says there’s actually 4 of us. He replies with. I guess you’ll have to share then. He liked us a lot. Guav’s tats were glowing…My hawk was still up a bit. And bea’s just asian. Jack was okay…cause she’s a cracka…but she’s with us…so i’m sure they didn’t like her either.

We really didn’t care about all of this…cause all we could think about was how freaking cheap this food was. 2 eggs 2 pancakes and home fries $1.40 Holy shit! All four of us had a ton of food and the bill didn’t even break 20 bucks. So we get back in the car and head to the jersey casa.

We’re about 45 minutes out when the gas light comes on. I pull to a gas station and go in and get a snack and something to drink. I’m standing there with Jackie and the cashier…a short chubby white guy with a baseball hat on…starts chuckling. And then he just starts talking. “Yeah…this guy came in and bought a paper earlier…and told me it was for his dog” Me and Jackie look at each other. He continued “I said your dog reads the paper? And he said…Yeah everytime he takes a shit” and then he handed me my change as he was cracking up…catching his breath he was laughing so hard.

We walk out and then start cracking up and how fucking random and weird that was. So we make it back to my old home. We unload everything from the car and get it all into #6. It feels really weird being here. Last summer me and chris lived there. And it feels really weird being there without chris.

So jack and bea take the rental back and me and guav start watching some bmx freestyle dvds. They get back and tell us they got a ticket for running a red light about 2 blocks from the rental place. That blows. After that we head over the Helen’s to get a few slices of pizza. Then we came back and watched this dvd that me and beau put together from the virgo bash.

It was awesome. I watched it before I burned it…and wasn’t as happy with it. But when we were all sitting there watching it…laughing and smiling about what a great trip that was. It made me really happy.

So the next morning we head to the city to get jackie to the airport. We took a few photos and had some eggs…since for some reason when we’re all together that’s all we eat. Jack made it on the train. And me and bea walk around the city and meet up with guavie dovie. We do some thangs…and then head back to the green couch in jersey.

I cleaned up…packed up all my stuff…and headed out to the path train. I got off at 33rd and headed back to guav’s work so he could walk me to penn station to make sure I got on the right train. We head down to the wrong track at penn station…and I had to carry my heavy ass suitcase up the stairs and back to another track. Not that I’m tired from this…but if you’ve ever been to penn station at 5:30pm then you know how many people are in there and how hot it can get. So basically i’m sweating my ass off. I head to my train and i tell guav i want to go grab something to drink first. He’s like you’re not gonna make it if you do man. Shit.

So we get there and i get it…nice little standing spot by the door. He gives me a hug and takes off. By this point i’m sweating like i’m in the pits of hell. There was about 3 minutes of me just wiping sweat from my forehead when POOF! Guav pops his head in with a coke and a glass of ice. He’s so fucking awesome. That totally saved me from a embarrassing sweaty ride all the way to jaimaca.

So long story shortened a bit…i make it home around 1:30am and am greeted by Doan in a beautiful long red dress. The flights were horrible so it was great to see her dimples and that beautiful face again. We get home about 2:15am and I’m exhausted. The garage that we normally park her car was closed so we happen to find a spot by my house…but we had to move the car by 7am. So after a couple hours of sleep we have to get up. And during the time we get back to the time I have to leave for work my roomates were in the shower. So I didn’t even get to take a shower. Yep…i stink. get over it.

So yeah. Bea is now a Gauvin. And Guav is now fully part of my family. Oh he told me he loved me. Which is a big step…cause I’ve told him that for a year now…and he would never say it back. We’ve broke through :) I love them. And they are a beautiful couple that were meant to be together. I can’t wait til they have little guav’s running around for me to turn into bad ass baseball players.

There were a million photos of this wedding…my camera died so this is all i got: Bea Guav Wedding Photos

But i’ll repost the links to everyone else’s. i’m out
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Well if you don’t know…I’m heading to Ithaca NY for Bea TalPlacido And Justin Guavin (aka Guav)’s Wedding. I’m sure it will be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to be apart of. And I’m sure Bea will look absolutely amazing in her wedding dress.

It’s crazy though. I can totally remember her looking a little f.o.b.y in middle school and then totally falling in love with her once I final got to know her. We’ve been through a lot together and she is a huge part of my life.

And luckily Chris had the bright idea to see if she was at Tree’s when we were sitting in New Amsterdam Coffee shop one night. Thanks Chris. I hadn’t seen her in 3 years and as fate seems to do…we found each other again. And from that night it was like nothing happened. You jumped right back into my life and I’ll never let you out again.

But I have to admit. I’m a little scared as to what is going to happen this weekend. Not about the wedding…that’s going to be amazing. And seeing my family again and finally getting to meet Guavmom and Guav’s friends will be awesome. But what I’m scared of is the fact that the craziest partiers and drinkers I know will all be in one room frantically buying shots for everyone and making everyone do a shot of jagger run around the block…and then do some shots of wine just because that’s what Jack wants you to do. I don’t know if my liver will be able to make it. I hope it will.

Anyway…there will be a ton of photos when I get back and I’m sure some crazy stories to go with that. Until then…Wish Me Luck!

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It’s not even close to time to head to the bus…so i go across the street to Cala (my local…and by local…i mean across the street…grocery store). I grab some gum and some cranberry juice and head over to beau’s doorstep. I chill there for about ten minutes…just watching the people and the cars go by…and i’m still in my today is great mood.

Beau finally makes it outside…and we head up the hill. And i don’t know if i’ve said this before…but we have to walk two blocks to get to our first stop. 2 blocks…so fucking what right? Well it’s fucking san francisco and it’s more like a climb. We start the morning off with a fucking hike. It’s nuts.

Anyway…so we get to the bus…and the first one comes and it’s full to the brim. This is pretty normal cause of all the suit wearing peeps that have to make their way downtown. But i wasn’t squeezing into that one.

About 2 minutes later another one comes by…that’s just as full but i say fuck it. It’s pretty crowded…so when i get on…i can’t really go anywhere.

So i’m just hanging onto the post by my new homie driving the sardine can. So we head past a couple of stops and everything is

gravy.

Then all of a sudden i hear “EXCUSE ME!” from this big black dude…who i notice is wearing the same brown pimp suit that all the bus drivers wear. So he makes his way next to the bus driver…and is explaining how to lower the bus for the old people and how he should just open the back door and let people on when it’s really crowded. Then he turns back and looks at me in disgust and is like “Excuse me…can you at least back up…so the man can see.” He leans back over to the bus driver and is like “Sorry man…some of these people have no manners.” I’m thinking to myself. Am i dreaming…cause i did nothing wrong…if i did anything wrong it was me bringing my cranberry juice on board with me.

We go by a couple more stops…and then the bus empties out a bit. So i’m turning around to start heading back to a seat…cause now i actually can. When the guy looks at me and says “You think maybe you can get behind the yellow line now?” like their were no people in front of me…and i was just wanting to hang out with the bus drivers with bad breathe. So i just look at the guy with a stink eye and head to the back…and as i’m walking i hear him say “Some people man…they just can’t follow rules or take orders…you just have to deal with those types of people…sorry.”

I wanted to turn around be like…EXCUSE ME…but if your fat ass wasn’t sitting in a sit…i could have been there…and you could have been up here with your fucking bad breathe brother teaching him how to fucking drive the bus. But you know me…i’m a lover not a fighter…i tried to chill and just take a seat.

But seriously…was there a reason for that? I did nothing to this fucker…and all he did besides feel the bus up with nasty breathe was…ruin my day. Fuck You Bus Trainer! Fuck you

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